24 Sep 2016


This week was the week I felt like I'm settling into our new routine after the summer. I'm feeling calmer and though I have few projects lined up I'm taking it slow. 

We didn't make it to swimming this week. Monday I was too tired to drive and Wednesday the kids fell asleep when I arrived at the pool so I brought them back home. 

We were on our way to school one morning when AOI said "When you're not in kindergarten you think it's easy, but when you're there is so hard." Yep, her eyes are open to the hardship of the world of education. She is adapting slowly to her recess dilemma and I'm trying not to go there but I watch her from afar to see how she's doing. Wednesday she cried but stopped when she saw an adult and I watched her sit down and carry on eat her snap whilst the father of another girl that is finding recess difficult talked to the girls.

I'm loving the dark side of the light in my photography. I hope my next client will love this mood too. 

15 Sep 2016



"Promise, promise..." she kept telling me as we were getting ready for bedtime.
"Promise you what?" I asked knowing too well what she wanted me to say no to.
"Promise me you will say no more school. That you will not take me back to school."

My heart was hurting so much to hear say the words. She couldn't cope with school because she found recess too scary with so many children running around and not knowing who are the adulting looking after them. My heart was crying because I couldn't promise not to take her to school but I promised I'll do anything that can help her settle into school.

We went to bed hoping that it was her tiredness escalating her fear of recess but in the morning she went back to it. In fact she wanted to go to preschool forever because she didn't think kindergarten was going to be hectic, but just calm a bit like preschool.

"I feel sick in my stomach." she said this morning after we've been throu after breakfast I don't want to got o school ever again, I want to learn from home.

"That can happen when you feel scared your stomach feel sick."
"I don't want to go to school."
"If you want to switch class, we still have to go talk to Mrs D-J."
"Okay, but I want to switch to preschool."
"Well, you can't switch to preschool without talking to your teacher. Also preschool has a wait list so you can switch to the other class if you want."
"No, I want to go to preschool."
"No..." said little brother, he's sure enjoying preschool without his sister being there.
"So, is the problem the class or recess?"
"The problem is recess, it's scary. It's like monters running all around me."
"Then we have to find a way to help you with that and I will talk to the teacher so I can come help you out settle in. How about that?"
"I don't want to go to school."
"No matter what we have to talk to your teacher, so let's go to school and see what she says okay."

So I went to her recess and it set a big step for her. She was telling me more about her class and about what she did in class. They watched a video and learnt about the brain.

The school is awesome because the teacher is allowing to be with her (in the play area, for her to see that there is an adult that she can trust) I'm going to go to recess until she feels ready or she says it "Until I feel brave to go alone."

So went to help at recess and it helped her. Slowly I'll help her recognise the supervisors and then she will be comfotable for me not to go to recess with her. She will enjoy her kindergarten year.

14 Sep 2016



"Where are you going?" I asked little girl when she came outside dressed up like a lady going to a tea party in the 20s.
"Nowhere." She said gigglying happy. It was heart warming to see her like that. After the first day of staggered kindergarten, during which the teacher was there to help the children out, my daugter's experience at kindergarten was about to go downhill due to recess.

But let's me start from this morning.

When it was time to go to kintergarden, little girl held onto the sofa. I read her a book about feeling shy and scared at school and how things turn out to be okay.

Everything at school is so hectic is so rushed for her. For instance today she couldn't eat her snack because there was a power drill. Yesterday she couldn't finish her snack because there was no more time. She was finding recess scary because she couldn't see her teacher. This morning I talked with her teacher and she explained that at recess they're different teachers supervising, she told me who they are and now little girl knows. It helped. At pick up she told me she was sad during recess but she saw the teachers supervising and felt better.

I can imagine her anxiety when she's in the big recess play area. Pick up time reminds me of London rush hour at the tube station. I'm so glad we choose this school for her, because the building is small and doesn't really look like a scary institution.

Aknowledging her feelings and knowing that when she talks we can try to help her will just help her experience in kintergarden be a good one.
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