31 Mar 2010

Thoughtful Wednesday: I Am Free Willed

As a young woman contemplating about having her first BABY, I don't feel that society is forcing me or expects me to do what I don't want to do.

I recently read from somewhere that society expects women to get married and have children.
I don't think this is always the case. As I am experiencing on my blog many of you are very strong willed women and although you are classified as SAHM (and WAHM) some of you are still running little businesses and big businesses from home.

When I read things like the statement above, it makes me think that some people still think that women are brainless who tend to follow what other people expect them to do. In my opinion I tend to do what pleases me, if I don't want to have kids at a chosen time I would never let society ditacte to me when to do it. I am not like that! I AM FREE WILLED! I see women as the powerful entity in our society; the sanity of humanity!

I would like to be a mummy because there is an instinct deep in me that crave for it, not because I feel pressure from the society. I hope the latter is not the case for anyone of you. Children want love and protection and they shouldn't be a social token. If I listened to the demands of people around me I would have had ten children by now - I am kidding on this point :).

I want to be a mother because it is my own choice and desire.

What do you think about this? Did you feel pressure from society and people around you to get married and have your kids? Please share with me.


30 Mar 2010


Since I decided to stop thinking about TTC, I feel as if a big tree of life has been removed from my shoulders!

I am still planning but I am not obsessed anymore. I am having more fun with it! I am going to be a dreamer (I am a dreamer), and write about my desires and wishes!

So for this new approach I want to start learning SNOWBOARDING (image source). I have always wanted to learn it, even when I read is a dangerous game. I just love it, it so cool! So now that I need to take my mind off things, I am trying to convince Hubby to come with me to an indoor ski resort just outside London to practice this weekend.

I am nearly there in convincing him. He was checking the open hours and hopefully this weekend we will go there. I really want to do it. Snowboarding and surfing are two of sport I love. So now that is winter I will learn snowboarding this weekend and then when the weather is nice I will start surfing. WOW, I am so happy about this thing.

What do you thing about these two activities? Have you ever snowboarded or surfed before? Were they difficult to learn?


22 Mar 2010

# 2 - I Comment Therefore I Am

About two weeks ago Dalie from Generation X Mom discussed a hot topic: sex. She proposed few questions about when is the appropriate time to have 'the talk' with kids.

Do you think a formal "talk" is appropriate? Do you leave it up to the school's sex education classes? How did you go about "the talk" and at what age with your kids? Are you prepared to talk to your 10-year-old about oral sex?
Bearing in mind that sometimes parents can't control how our society exposes sex images to kids on daily basis (video clips in which women and men are half naked - Lady Gaga comes to mind), I answered:

I remember doing science and talking about reproduction at the age of eleven, but I don't think I wanted to discuss it with my mother (although at the time I promised myself to discuss with my children before science classes). I didn't talk about sex with my mother but, as curious as I was I learned more about it through teen magazines. That helped me decide not to do anything like that until late age (ah, ah, ah...).

I would like to explain to my future kids what sex is but I wouldn't go into details at the tender age of ten by talking to them about oral sex (that would be too much). We should bear in mind that our society is forcing sexual images on children on daily basis, therefore at a young age a child is force to indoctrinate him/herself of something they don’t fully comprehend. But for a parent to talk about petting and oral sex at a 10-year-old child I think is inappropriate (I don't have a kid yet, but if I think about my nieces and nephews, I don't think I can talk about that kind of sexual intercourse) I think it shouldn't be on the agenda until they are maybe 13/14 years old. But we are in 2010, things can change so quickly; and as we are human beings who change their thoughts so often I can change my mind fast.

Unknown Mami

I think you should check out her blog for more hot topics... Before you go please leave a comment so I know you are around ;)!

21 Mar 2010

Sunday in London

Today Hubby and I took a bus trip to London Bridge/Tower Bridge. The Tower Bridge was the biggest bridge built in the late nineteenth century. I believe is one of the most famous bridges in the world. So it was a privilege to take the trip there again (I have been on it so many times I have lost count). I decided to take extra photos of the surrounding area and the last photo is the little village just behind the bridge.

The hidden gem (above). Please enjoy the photos and share your thoughts on them.

14 Mar 2010

Sunday in London

We live most of our days rushing to working and not enjoying the beautiful cities we live in. Every Sunday UnKnownMami asks everyone to share some photos of their city. Today I was in a car but I didn't leave my camera at home and these are the photos I took.

This is the Sunday through MsBabyPlan's camera. Enjoy the photos.

11 Mar 2010

Maternity Leave or Money Stay?

"That is the question."

The debate will go on and on, as long as there are women willing to have babies and enjoy their right as mothers and take maternity leave to be in the company of their little ones (when time and money permits). On the other hand the debate will go on as long as there are women who put their career as priority; who want to play the same game as the men, who also want to have family to demonstrate that women are great because they can have a marriage, baby and still play hard as men do.

So this is the debate: do you embrace the right as a mother or do you keep you career high and ditch all the rights other women have fought for (for centuries), for women who want to have a family, stay home for the right amount of time before returning to work? The right of maternity leave is a delicate issue. I recently read an article wish made me think hard.

Few years ago I wanted to finish university, find a job and have a baby. Now everything is changed. My instinct tells me something different and this time I am leaving to the Almighty to decide. I want a family more than a career, and I know that if in future I want to pursuit the dream to have a great career I will be able to do it, because I am still young. However some high-profile women are challenging this idea and the love for motherhood.

Let me list few pretty facts about maternity in the UK (maybe around Europe). Since 2007 women in the UK are allowed to spend "bonding time" with their new babies up to 52 paid statutory weeks of leave (in the USA these are 12 unpaid week - incredible!). As a mother and future mother you are entitle to baby sick leave and so on (if I am wrong please correct me). This was the case until some important women in politics and media challenged these "privileged" position.

When French minister, Rachida Dati, and British newsreader, Fiona Bruce (top right), returned to work just few weeks after giving birth, some applauded for their commitment to work. But others felt outrage, because this was going to let the government the privilege of new mothers. A survey show that about 300,000 working mothers feel under pressure to return to work due to discrimination, mostly around their maternity leave. Perhaps these two women felt the same pressure.

However, this counteract the action of another high-profile journalist, Natasha Kaplinsky (top left), who announced her pregnancy shortly after taking a £1m position at a British TV channel. She then took five months maternity leave and when she returned back she requested shorter hours (she was entitled to this) but her action became front-page news, and made some women raise their eyes.
This behavour reinforce the difficult to easily just jump into motherhood, because whilst you are young you want to have good career but this prevent you from having babies (if it entails the pressure stated above). Especially in the current financial climate. However this should not prevent mothers pursuing their dream as working mother, and it should not let mother who want to spend quality time with their children feel guilty or be discriminated for their choice.

A novelist, Amy Jenkins, when she was asked to comment on the Dati story she remarked that she was torn between two points. On one hand thanks to the minister "... men [will] know that giving birth isn't an illness or a disability (therefore be prompt to give higher position to women). On the other hand I don't want women to be so like men that one day they'll find a way of giving birth at their desk" This remark is quite hilarious but could be possible in our crazy world.
Ah, ah, ah... this is funny but I really know what I want: motherhood!

To you now. What would you do if you are in that kind of situation? Would you go back to work as soon as you pop the baby or will you cherish your child for as long as you please?

Please Share you thoughts!

xxx MsBabyPlan

10 Mar 2010

Thoughtful Wednesday: Courseworks

Today I need to focus on my COURSE WORKs, full stop. I have been neglecting my studies and this is not part of my CHECKLIST. Readers I am taking a day off from blogging.
But please stay tuned!

Show Some SITs Love

xxx MsBabyPlan

9 Mar 2010

8th March is Dedicated to Women

Yesterday was the day dedicated to women. This festivity is celebrated in post part of the world but I know that in Italy is very important. During this day men and also women are supposed to give mimosa (the yellow plant above) to women in sign of respect, appreciation and love.

I wish every woman a happy belated WOMAN's day... I hope someone showed you the respect you deserve as a woman, mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, granmother (and the list goes on....)!


Show Some SITs Love

xxx MsBabyPlan

8 Mar 2010

# 1 - I Comment Therefore I Am

UnknownMami is a postgraduate in the technique I am about to try. This consist in her putting together a great list of comments she left on different blogs and she then publishes as a post on her own blog. I am a novice in this because I don't write philosophical comments as she does. However today reading the post by Melissa on completelyeclipsed, I felt compelled to try to post my first I Comment Therefore I Am. I hope this will be the start of many and I also hope you will enjoy reading it :)

In the post Melissa talked about how life is becoming a protocol at work; the school asks more paper works instead of focusing on the duties it employed the staff to do in the first place, which is to teach. Another issue is how the chores at home can be overwhelming. As wives and mothers were are expected to cook, clean, mop, prepare baby bottles and more. Although some men are excellently helpful in these duties the majority still expect women to accomplished these tasks. (The lines above are my own interpretation of her post so please read more

I wrote:

Melissa, I can relate to your post so much.
For me the week went away too quick and there are so many things still to be done. I don't have problem at home - cleaning and stuff, I just let it be - because I don't have kids yet (but once they are here I can't neglect that), on the other hand I have some course works due in week eight and we are already in week five and I haven't even started reading the questions. I feel overwhelmed, too.

But you know how I will cope? By swimming backstrokes, in this way the water will not touch my face. Sometimes is good to chill.

Have a soothing tea and lift up your feet even when you feel like the waters are overtaking you.

For 'I don't have a problem at home...' I meant because we don't have a baby if the floor is not mopped I don't worry too much. Being just two of us has the advantage to be laid back, but I know this will definitely change once we have babies.

Mothers have to do double when it comes to family life.

What is your take on this? Unknown Mami

Please Leave a Comment so I know you are around :)!

xxx MsBabyPlan

7 Mar 2010

London Sunday Stroll

Another Sunday, another great Sunday stroll. This is what happens in My City on Sunday. The pictures are from lfns.co.uk, enjoy them!

Show Some SITs Love

xxx MsBabyPlan
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