31 May 2010

How Do You Cope With A Badly Behaved Little Boy?

I am eating my liver right now!

Bearing in mind that this little person is only 9 years old and can be very fun sometimes.

How do you react if the same person, who is your husband's sister's rude son therefore your nephew, calls your husband "Idiot" when they play together as mates?

In my situation I get very upset and annoyed because he is always rude with all the adults from his mother's family. I try to correct him but to no avail. They don't like his rudeness but due to the mother they accept silently. The children from my family are brought up to be polite with elders.

What do I do then? Eat my liver and let things be? Try to correct every time I see him or forget about it.


  1. Well, I can only offer my rather uneducated opinion. My daughter absolutely doesn't do that. But, we can't control other people's children, seems ESPECIALLY not family's children.

    So, with something like that, especially seeing as he's 9 and should know better, I would simply ignore him until he addressed me properly. You can't control that others don't correct him, so simply make it clear that while he might get away with that with others, with YOU, he has to respect you. It will take some persistence on your part, but I think it would be worth it in the end.

  2. @Meanbean, thanks for your advice. He knows that with me he can't be rude, in fact he is GOOD with me but I get annoyed when he does not respect my Hubby and my Hubby does not do anything about that.

    But you are right WE can't control other people's children. I will try to just ignore his stupid behaviour when he is around me.

  3. Like Meanbean said, he's 9 years old, set in his ways and not matter what you do, bad behavior is reinforced in his home. As much as you want the best for family, you can't change what his parents have created.

  4. How often do you see him? You might say something (gently so as not to cause a family feud) to him if you see him often, but if you only see him rarely I'd just let it be. Still, I'm your side. He should know better and, if he really doesn't, his parents should correct him!

  5. @ Emily, it depends we don't live close enough to see him every day so I will let it be.

    Thanks ladies.

  6. Augh! Such a hard position to be in, Ms Baby Plan! I certainly have found myself in that position before ... I guess instead of trying to teach this child (who I may have felt will not change and get anything out of it), I have used it instead as a learning tool for myself when raising my own children. I see how I do not want my child to behave, and do my best to raise them differently.

    Stopping by from Lady Bloggers Tea! Great to meet you!

  7. at 9, you can suggest a different word instead of lecturing. Treat it like it's no big deal:
    "I didn't like that word..can let's say 'bucket head' instead? or whatever silly phrase you'd prefer"

    then when it happens again say (to the person he was talking to), "I think he meant to say 'buckethead'...infact, there really is a bucket on your head!!! Did we trick you?"

    etc. You're not lecturing, you just say it in passing...then reinforce but move on to something silly quickly. Dont give him a chance to be defiant....and if he still makes a point of using "idiot" or a swear, only mention it once and then move on like it never happened.

  8. Rainsplats has good advice! If you can influence him in a casual way like that, then you can get your point across without starting anything.

  9. @ RainSplat, you are so wise :). Thanks for this trick, I can suggest a word that is not offensive to correct him and then ignore him at the same time. great I will try that next time. Slowly, I will learn not to be too uptight :).

    Thanks Leanne and Candace for your suggestings. I will learn from others :)

  10. Stopping by from SITs!

    It's hard when it is married family's children causing the problem. If it were an actually siblings child I imagine that it *might* be a little more approachable, but I can understanding the territory that might be crossed if you were to scold your SIL's child.

    Even still, if I heard that escape from his mouth to either me or my husband, I would immediately (sternly) say, "That is rude and mean, and I will NOT tolerate you treating us like that."
    This way you are truly sticking up for yourselves, and can point that out if his mother's confronts you on that, but it also divides those lines of demanding at least some respect and not forcing other adults to say something that might leave them in an uncomfortable position.
    The only way to make him understand that his behavior is not ok is if SOMEONE says something to him. Since his mother doesn't scold him, and no one else wants to say/do anything about it, he continues on thinking his words and actions are totally normal.

  11. That is a tough one. Just keep this in mind he is not your kid. Therefore you are not the parent. Leave his behavior problems to his parents. I now it might be difficult but that is the best thing to do. Good luck!


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