30 Jun 2010

Thoughtful Wednesday: Combining Feminism and Home Goddessness

When I was young, in the mid-90s, I did not know there was a word such as feminist. A work which encapsulated everything a strong woman should be like. However, instinctively I was one. I hated everything to do with women choirs, (but, I adored cleaning, and treated my cleaning as a work of art, I was the only one who did it best). During dinner time my mother would call me away from the television telling me "Come and learn how to cook..."

"How about G.?" I would say pointing at my brother.

"This is a girl's work not a boy's." I really hated to know that a girl was not allowed to sit and watch television like a boy.

Other times she would say "You have to learn how to cook for when you get married."

With phrases like that I would twitch my lips and be impertinent by answering back "I won't get married then." I really meant it and she would become livid with me.

Bear in my that she has always being a very hard working woman, who managed to bring up five children alone without a man because the husband passed away when the children were young. But, being a woman and having a daughter like me, she wanted to teach me how to be a good wife.

However, one thing she always encouraged me to do was reading my school books. She wanted me to become a lawyer or become someone important in life. And I always got her on this point.

Whenever there was a television program that I really liked, if she called me away and I remembered her weakness, I would open my book and say "I am studying for school." In this way my mother would leave me alone to my books. In the meantime I would be reading with one eye and watching telly with other.

These were my first signs of feminist thinking.

Growing up I always felt the need to be strong, independent and when the anthem for this feeling came out thanks to the Destiny's Child, I shouted and danced to it in front of the telly. My mother would then smile and say "My daughter is going mad..."

I related to the lyrics and sung Survivor without even being through any hardcore relationship. I was a real Destiny's Child generational kid. Never letting a man pay for my share of a dinner and demanded to be treated as equal.Wearing side slip red dresses at church, wearing trousers instead of skirts, being a rebel!

Then when I was seventeen, I met a guy who was dreaming about us together and forever. On our second date he carried himself away and said "I can see us in the future, you with your hairdressing salon and me with my gas station. I will buy you wonderful clothes and shoes." He talked as if that was my only dream. I went running... Okay, okay maybe it was too much for a second date?

Few years later, I then met my Hubby and all this boldness relented with time, just in moderation (I am still my little stubborn self). He believes that a woman and a man should share duties. That there should not be set rules for men and women.

Surely God knows me well to have sent me a man like him :)!

However, now that I am planning to become a mother, I want to be a feminist/house goddess. Someone who needs to be strong, independent, a hard worker but at the same time love to stand behind the stove. A woman who wears the glove on one hand and holds the pen on the other. Become a real Ms. Baby Plan, between diapers and dictionaries ;)!

Now to you, my readers.

Do you feel more feminist or home goddess?

28 Jun 2010

Hubby Is Feeling It

Today Hubby kissed me and then said "This is the time, I can feel it. You are pregnant!" he said while giving me one of his cute-childlike smiles.

"How can you tell?" I was all happy and you cannot image the size of my head.

"I can just tell... from everything."

"How can you tell?" I persisted.

"I can just tell it, I can feel it. Is everything... Plus, I want to have positive mind." he smiled and kissed me again.

Maybe he can taste it on my lips that I am pregnant?

For my part, apart from drinking more water and having an acned face being, I feel normal. I blame the weather for giving my acned face and the wanting of drinking water.

I still have five days till I can take the test.

I guess that he wants to have positivity around me because I believe in positive mind. I strongly believe that the more someone has positive mind the more there is a chance of good things happening in their lives.

Do you believe in positive mind? How do you stay positive in mind?

27 Jun 2010

The Game..

The game is on and one of the teams will go home. I hope England staysand goes to the end with Ghana. Enjoy the day.

26 Jun 2010

It Is Mad...

... but is it just me or when one is TTC, she listens to her body more than when she is not TTC?

Well, this is what I am experiencing.

Since I started my journey towards motherhood, I know how much saliva I should have in my mouth (yuk) to be normal. {image source}

I monitor how many times I make the trip to the loo and at which hours of the day I feel sleepy. I feel like drinking water more often, I am a little bit moody with some people but very sweet towards children. My eyes go all dove when I see cute couples with their little babies. These are mad signs, because in my mind I am pregnant each minutes that these symptoms persist.

I am so mad that I have downloaded about 10 pregnancy Apps on my IPod to read more about pregnancy symptoms. Most of them are not good and now my IPod is filled up with crap.

I am enjoying monitoring myself and I am not stressing about it. In fact I want to monitor my moods and emotions to make sure that what happened to me in April does not happen again.

25 Jun 2010

Patience is a Virtue...

This is a saying of great thinkers. And I am about to learn how to be patient in my life.

I live in the fast lane, always learning things quicker than my contemporaries. Also, I don't like it when others have to let me wait. I want everything now or never. But this journey is teaching me how to live each second with the marvellous wonder of a tortoise. I don't like it but I am enjoying it ;). Since I began my journey of TTC, I feel like living in a limbo and this will not be the last time I will express this feeling.

Eight days before I discover if it is YES or NO and to ease my mind, I am going to work extra days at work and help a friend of mine find a job. This will help my mind be less tormented.

How did you cope with the wait? What did you do to ease your mind? Any tip is welcome :)!

22 Jun 2010

Thoughtful Wednesday: FEATURED BLOG... BabyMakin{g}Machine (Part 2)

The following is the second part of the interview with Future Mama @BabyMakin{g}Machine. This part is all about pregnancy, health and fitness. You can read the first part of the interview here.

1. In your pregnancy you haven't put on much weight, how do you keep fit?
I'm a little embarrassed to say this but I think it's pretty much genetics. I've always been super tall and thin and I haven't had to work super hard to stay "fit looking." Now as far as FEELING and actually BEING fit, I try to take my dog on walks daily, but it's really died down lately since it's been getting so hot. I have Prenatal Yoga DVDs I've been trying to do.

2. After how many weeks into you pregnancy did you begin any activity? Are you still doing yoga?

12 weeks is what they told me at my Yoga place! So around 12 weeks I went to a yoga place in town, but it's far from where I live and I've been SO busy, it's been hard to keep up with. So I try to do workouts at home.

3. Apart from the obvious vitamins which others are you taking to be healthy during this pregnancy?

I take Garden of Life Raw prenatal vitamins. They have all natural ingredients. I also take their DHA vitamins. In addition to that I take a calcium pill because I don't drink much milk, and I take iron because of my anemia.

4. I know you did lots of research before your pregnancy, but what they never told you?

They didn't tell me at times I'd feel like a hand/leg/head or something was fixin to pop out of my vagina. Also, I didn't quite understand that I'd have the feeling of being "full" cause my tummy is all stretched out and stuff, but I can still be starving, I dunno how to describe it, it's weird. Your bowls also go haywire too.

I really like this part of the interview and hope you like it too!


20 Jun 2010

Daddy's Girl

One day, a man came into the place where I worked with his one-year-old daughter. He was handsome and in the eyes of us girls he became even more once he asked us if he could sit somewhere in the building to feed his little child.

We were all in a "Oh, uh, wow..." mood! How sweet to observe a man dedicating his time to his little baby in that way. Because, as we know, some men don't care about their children but some others are excellent fathers.

When I see scenes like that, my mind goes back down memory lane to my infancy. To the time when I was the jewel in my father's eyes. Because, you see, I am the last born of my father. The one his elders children thought he was too old to have. I am the unwanted-wanted child. The luck and bless of the family. The one destine to help the family achieve something great. That is the reason I think he chose my beautiful name.

I miss him and every time I see men of old age I compare their age and their look to my father; because if he was alive he would have been just like one of them. I miss him and for the first time I am writing something about the feeling of a girl who grew up without the love of a real father.

I hope this year is the last year that my Hubby will not have a little one to wish him a wonderful father's day. I know he will love our children very much and I wish our children experience the love of their father forever.


18 Jun 2010

I Need A Refuge

I was away in Italy for three days. This was a trip I decided to make so that I can help a friend move into her new place. On my agenda I wanted to rest, enjoy the company of some old friends and cherish the weather and write. But while I was there, my mother had other plans for me. She wanted me to sort out some paperworks for her.

These are the duties that I always forget makes my stay in Italy more stressful than restfull. Because, when there is a demanding family near me I cannot get the peace I need in my life. Sometimes I feel like I am a woman with a rock on my tiny shoulders. I don't ask to have all the resposabilities my mother enjoy putting on me. I don't know why but she pretends so much from me.

Today, I felt like escaping from this world. It feels like I don't have my own life that I am craving to live in full.

Please don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends; I could never replace them or live without them. But there is no rest whenever my family or some kind of friends are around me. I don't know where to find peace. I cannot breakaway easily from the ties but I wish I could - just for few months.

Do you ever feel like you want to break away from your parents and friends sometimes?

14 Jun 2010

Book 2 and 3 of 10 Books: Writing For Television and The Famished Road

I am keeping up with the list of books I wanted to read this summer and beyond. At the moment I am reading two books alternating between Writing for Television by William Smethurst and The Famished Road by Ben Okri.

The first book is a writers' writing excise book. It teaches the tricks to write successful stories which can be sold to television programmes. I am reading it for inspiration for my many stories in the drawer.

The second, on the other hand, is a magical novel which follows the adventure of Azaro a spirited child. He is born and reborn many times because he finds it difficult to leave behind the idyllic world which he was used to before his birth.

For many times he is born to the same woman but for the same amount of times he dies. However, one time he decides to live just to bring a smile on the face of the woman who was going to be his mother; he also decides to live and experience the life of the living. This comes with great cost because for the rest of this life his spirit companions do not let him live in peace. They keep calling him to the spirit world most children abandon at birth. This causes pain to the parents and to Azaro himself.

In the opening pages a phrase caught my attention and heart, it reads "There are many reasons why babies cry when they are born, an
d one of them is the sudden separation from the world of pure dreams, where all things are made of enchantment, and where there is no suffering."

This makes me want to create a dream world around me when it is time to welcome my future baby. This will help ease the impact from that separation. I want the baby to be happy and dream the lovely dream of life with less suffering as possible.

# 5 I Comment Therefore I Am: Do They Know...?

I Comment Therefore I Am is hosted by Unknown Mami and consist putting together a list of comments you left on different blogs and then publish it as a post on your own blog.

Last week Ms. Understood wrote a post about how her blog is unknown to her family apart from her husband and one of her friends. She compared writing her blog to writing secretively to her childhood pen pal.

I Wrote:
I had two pen pals in the last millenium and my family knew about them. It was not exciting as your pen pal friendship. In this millenium my Hubby knows I blog, one of my sisters-in-law knows that I blog, my sister knows I blog but doesn't know about this particular blog. They all know that I blog but I haven't confirmed is me they are reading on the net. I will like to tell all my family and friends to read it when I am preggo but some other times I feel like keeping it for myself and maybe start another one that I can share with everyone and keep TheBabyPlan for my personal reflections, but sometimes I also know that this is the space on wish I can let people know my mind and read my real feelings. Is like a platform on which I share my thoughts once without shouting it to everyone. A platform that my own family can learn to know me better or me to know myself a little bit more. Plus I like to meet people all over the world on the net, always bearing in mind my privacy :)!
The same day on BabyMakingMachine, Future Mama wrote a post asking when to draw the line between your personal life and blogging. She experienced the colour bullying and she worried that she might not get it well if some silly people decide to be offensive towards her family, expecially about her Lil J on her own blog.

I wrote:

I have been there on the colour bullying and I hope my kid does not experience that but this is the world and nothing change. I am very sensitive and sometimes I take silly jokes too seriously. Normally I consider myself private person but my blog is teaching me how to come out of my shell. I am learning to let go a little bit. On my blog I share my feelings about the journey towards motherhood but I know that I will never share names online and if I share pictures it will not be faces of my family. I am overly protective and sometimes very private but I am learning to stop living in a bubble. Fear does not let you live life!
Hubby knows about my blog but the more I think about it the more I believe I should keep this blog for myself and not share it with the wider audience of my friends and family. Because I might write about some deep feelings that I do not want them to know, but still need a feedback on it from other people. I also think that once I am preggo Hubby and I will start a blog on which we can share our experience as new parents and how it feels like to live with a new baby in a new country. The new blog will be shared with our families and our friends.

I will then keep this blog for my personal chat with you, my online friends, and share my journey with like minded people. I might post some pictures but still protect the identity of my family just like Unknown Mami does. But on this blog I will keep my name to myself.

Does your family know about your blog? Where do you draw the line?

Unknown Mami

Before you go please leave a comment so I know you are around ;)!


11 Jun 2010

Inspirational Book...

The May Queen edited by Andrea N. Richesin, as any book of collected essays not all the stories can inspire the reader. But for me many of the stories in the anthology seem written by a younger or an older me. They are so familiar and the words are written in different language in my many journals. They so mirror my thoughts and some events in my life. I feel so filled up by reading this book and I am glad my instincts directed me well, yet again.

I was inspired by Julianna Baggott's story, because she wanted to be a mother and at the same time accomplish her dream as a successful writer and she made it. Her story taught me not to give up and work harder to get what I want in life.

Also Samina Ali's story seems written by me, because just like her I believe that "in life, we are presented with many paths down which to take our lives and difficulty is to choose the path that is best suited to us." After came out of one of the worse illnesses on earth, meningitis, in 1999 I felt that there was something important that my life have to accomplish that was why I still had my existence on earth. I am working and praying the Almighty to lead me there. I know that in my life I have been presented with different paths and God has always directed to make the right choices.

I Pray the Almighty to listen to our prayers and to keep loving us has He has done until now. Amen!

I 100% recommend the book for every women living this thing called life.

Please share with me.


8 Jun 2010

Thoughtful Wednesday: FEATURED BLOG... BabyMakin{g}Machine (Part 1)

Last month I featured my first mummy-blogger and this month I am so happy to feature another one.

Please give me: Drums, Lights, Fireworks... Today I am so, so happy to present you Future Mama

When I first started documenting my journey toward motherhood I wanted to meet other women, online, planning to take the same path as me. It was during this search that I came upon BabyMakin{g}Machine's blog. Reading her old posts, I discovered that she started her blog even before she decided to TTC. Her blog was perfect for me to follow and I began to read night and day. This was the time I shouted out for help because I became addicted to the blogsphere thanks to her wonderful blog posts.

I love her blog so much that even up to date I stop by every day! And since then I have come to know the great-bubbly person behind the screen. She is my lucky charm in the blogsphere!

Future Mama started her blog to document her journey as a future mama - thus the name. I was there when she annouced the gender of her little one and when she wrote the post for her birth wishes. Just like me she is a planner, but unlike me she is very organised.

And this month is her due date!

So it was an honour when she accepted to answer some questions to feed my cutiosity...This is the first part of the interview so watch out for the second part next week... :)

Okay, okay no more delays. Please enjoy :)!


How do you combine you busy-BUSY life with blogging? [I mean you are a journalist with deadlines for your assignments - but apart from that you are an active church member-a wife- a future mother- GREAT BLOGGER (you write for other two websites)] Where do you find the energy and passion to keep up with your good posts?

Answer: I have no idea, I try to keep a schedule. Sometimes I let a few days go with no posts cause that's what I've gotta do. But I do stick to my deadlines for other blogs I write for. I think I just love to write, so most of the time it doesn't take me long to write a post, just like I'd write a journal entry, it just flows.

Q: I haven't found a blog with best giveaway products as you do. When and how did you get sponsored? How do you get sponsors nowadays?

A: Most of the time companies write to me asking if I would feature their product, I've become super picky with who I feature because it has to be something I'd A. Normally buy to use in my life and B. Something I know my readers would like to know about. Occasionally I'll write to a company that has a product I think would be fun to write about but usually, these days they write to me (reaching out takes time I don't have lately).

As far as ad sponsors, I leave that all up to people contacting me as well.

Q: What does the Husband think of your blogging? (My thinks that I am in a phase which will pass, but I might prove him wrong. I am enjoying blogging each day that my university commitment is over)

A: My husband use to HATE my blog, but he's grown to appreciate that it gives me something to do, he knows it's a hobby I enjoy and he supports me with it. However, he doesn't read it. I'm ok with that, haha. No boys allowed!

Q: Most of your posts are open and very private; do you have any post that you wish you never wrote? Do you have a line you will never cross on your blog? (I believe in the motto never say never - great Brandy)

A: There are some posts I've written that I've taken down. The way I met my husband was very special and we said we'd keep it to ourselves, I shared it on my blog and he saw it and got upset *ouch* I took it down.

I don't think I'd ever write about marital problems on my blog, not that we experience any, so maybe that makes it easy, but I don't complain about my husband to my friends so I wouldn't do that online either. If I'm poking fun and being lighthearted about it that's one thing, but I don't want to vent about him in "public."

Q: I have read most of you posts starting back from 2009. But like any 'author' I am sure you have your own favourite blog entry. So, could you be so kind to list your best 3?

A: 1. When I blogged about finding out I was pregnant:

2. Before we started TTC I was writing about being a Sex Natzi, I thought it was funny, but EXACTLY how I was feeling, haha:

3. Another post I enjoyed writing and sharing with people was this one about my worries with having a birracial child:
I cannot stop reading her posts :). Please stop by her blog and check it out. Plus, she is doing more woderful giveaways :)!

Don't forget to leave a comment so I know you were here. Loves!


6 Jun 2010

#4 I Comment Therefore I Am: Does Race and Culture Matters?

I Comment Therefore I Am is hosted by Unknown Mami and consist putting together a list of comments you left on different blogs and then publishe it as a post on your own blog. I am still a novice in this because I don't write philosophical comments as she does.

Look at the sweet-so-cute face, how can you possibly resist that doting face? I love it so much I could steal it!

On 29th April (I know is late but...) MyBrownBaby wrote a post about Sandra Bullock adoption baby Louei, a little boy from the African American community who was orphan. Some people were cruel about this adoption - like the case of many others - because the boy is Black and the mother is White. This is how MsBrownBaby started the post:
Sandra Bullock's announcement that she is the proud mom of a new baby boy got a lot of attention yesterday for a lot of reasons, but it wasn't just because she kept little Louis' adoption a secret while she dealt with her soon-to-be ex-husband's creeping. Seems that folks are in a tither over the fact that Sandra's son is a brown baby. For sure, my "google alert" for "African American baby" was full of Sandra Bullock stories, as if she's the first, last, and only mom of an African American child. And then there was this from the Twitterati:

Sandra bullock loves black ppl. Blind side, Regina King in Ms Congeniality & now she adopted a black (american) baby. Clap 4 her LOL

Did Sandra Bullock adopt a black baby? I thought that fad had pass in Hollywood just like small dogs in LV bags.

Wish I cud adopt a black baby like Madonna, Angelina Jolie n Sandra Bullock...OH WAIT... I can produce dem frm ma own lovely uterus :)

Sandra Bullock is taking this "Blind Side" thing too far...
I wrote:

The baby is so, so CUTE.

I don't get it, when people vow to love somebody they complain! Come on. The boy could have been without the love of a parent and Sandra wants to give it to him. Plus the boy will always know who he is. Is the same folk that judge who will force him to lose his identity not the mother who adopts the child.

Please let the good people love!

CONGRATS Sandra and all the mothers who decide to love a child no matter the COLOR!

In my opinion people should stop discriminating. People tend to judge based on others race and culture, but in this way the world will never move forward. I hope one day my children will embrace everyone based one their goodness and the dept of their heart among other good traits of the person.

What are your thoughts on this matter? Does race and culture matter in any kind of relationship?

Unknown Mami

Before you go please leave a comment so I know you are around ;)!

Sunday In London

In St. James Park, near Buckingham Place, there are diverse birds. Below are some photos I took whilst there with Hubby and our nephew.
But the high light was seeing the pelicans, especially the super friendly one (below left). However, this one was selective to whom to be friendly with. He was good with our nephew who stroke the feathers several times but when another man wanted to do the same he nearly got pecked him.

4 Jun 2010

My First Sewing Machine

Yesterday, apart from the good work, I went to buy my first sewing machine :)!
I've never sew in my life but I want to learn for the future. When I am a mother, I think it will be important to be able to cut and attach together old clothes - to save money.

To get myself going I have selected five old dresses and skirt that I love but cannot fit in them, or they look like 1990s fashion (well, I bought them in that era ;), therefore I want to spice them up a little bit :P.
I will try to do something with them and then share the pictures with you.
Below is the lucky machine!
I chose Brother because, in my opinion, it was good value for money - it cost £79.99, it has 2 years guarantee, 14 stitches and clip-on presser feet, as opposed to 2 years guarantee and 10 stitches for £109.99 Singer! For my sewing experience and my needs this one seems good for the time being.

Does anyone know how to sew? Did I choose the right machine? (I can still return it, if you have better suggestions) Can someone direct me to a website for sewing novice like me?


3 Jun 2010

Cleaning The Flat As Showroom

The picture below was taken last week during my final hours of hard work.

Today this is the picture of my dining table. Clear and clean, just like my mind. I am so happy with myself because I did what I promised myself to do after I hand in the Project.I started by clearing the books from the living room, and then I went to the bedroom to clear the clothes from the iron board. Finally I washed the bathroom.
I am trying to cross from the list the things that I think are important for my safety. I don't want to trip on my own clothes during this journey. And cleaning the house as a showroom was one of the points.
For this mission I listened to Beyonce... :)!

1 Jun 2010

Book 1 of 10 Books: The May Queen

Before I finished my university Project and course-works - :) ;) :)... - I listed some books I wanted to read this summer and beyond. Books that are not related to university... :)!

I have started this mission.

And the first book is The May Queen edited by Andrea N. Richesin.

This is a collection of essays written by women in their thirties trying to pull everything together. These women were born in the late sixties and early seventies. Some of their stories are sad, some have happy endings and some others tell when they stopped striving to have it all...

Some of the stories might relate to us women born in the late seventies and early eighties but we might differ from them in some other aspects. According to me our generation believe that we can strive to dream and never give up - or maybe it is just me. I believe that, our attitude to life is more reality/dream-like. For instance I know that one day I will reach what God have set for me to achieve in this life. I am 100% convinced that my dream to become a healthy-good-mother does not mean that the other dream in my life have to be parked in the garage. It might be difficult to break the market but as long as I have strenght everything is possible in my life in God's name. And although sometimes not everything is possible, this does not mean I have to stop dreaming, searching and trying to get there. As Albert Einstein said "Curiosity has its own reason of existing." I am curious and this brings me life.

In The May Queen the story of Julianna Baggott has inspired me, because she wanted to be a mother and at the same time accomplish her dream as a successful writer and she made it. These are two of the things I will LOVE to accomplish in this life. Writing this post means that I have started working toward both.

Many of you are in your mid-late twenties; early thirties; late thirties and early forties. Many of you combine being a full time mother and work from home mothers. Some of you are publishers, writers and career driven mothers.

How do you combine motherhood, wife-hood and career together - especially as a writer? I know that I have to stop being lazy to make it. Do you feel accomplished in your current position in life? Do you have more than you wished for?

Please share with me.


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