25 Oct 2010

# 12 - ICTIA = Hair, hair, hair

People of all colour have a story about hair... Black, White, Red or Yellow... :)!
Unknown Mami wrote a beautiful post about her hair journey. She also posted the above video to show the new and perfect approach for children to embrace their natural hair.

Like many women she had issues with her curly hair. She then learned to love it. However, this love lasted until she went to her mother's house for a party. They were getting ready when her mother asked her:
Como te vas a arreglar el pelo?” (How are you going to wear your hair?)
When she told her she was going to wear it curly, her mother gave her a disappointed sigh. Unknown Mami caved in, she pulled her straightening iron and straightened it. Her husband who had never seen her with straightened hair thought it looked odd and she was irritated that she had let her mother’s opinion sway her. On the way to the party her mother complimented how lovely her hair looked. On the other hand her mother's husband said, “Your hair is beautiful when it’s curly. Your hair looks nice now, not better, just different.”

What a great man... not all men are the same but some know when to love a woman's hair... For instance my brothers don't like women with fake hair playing in their hair. My Hubby prefers me natural and locs :).

Since that episode Unknown Mami is in love with her hair more than ever. She thinks it is glorious, gorgeous, and glamorous. Everytime she looks at her daughter she knows how beautiful her curly hair is. Many of her readers, like myself, have complimented her daughter's hair before.

Her husband recently told her to watch the video above. She wrote:
I cried because I never saw anything like this video when I was a child. I cried because I want my daughter to always love her hair. I cried because it’s not just about hair. I cried because I was grateful and happy.
In response to her post I wrote:

Thanks for sharing the video, as you wrote many have their own hair stories to tell. I was thinking about writing a post about my hair too. I will do it one of these days.

My mother initially looked at me strange when I decided to go natural. Now she loves my hair, many mothers 'unconsciously' force their children to wear their hair in a different way because they think is the best for them. It is only when we are old we realise that deep down we always knew what was best for us.

I am happy you are letting your hair free and curly. Your daughter has great hair and I hope people around her will never envy her so much to let her hate her hair. I am sure that will not happen because she has a great mother like you :).

I am also happy I went natural, I feel healtier in this way :)!

Thanks again for posting your post.

I also commented on The Princess Poets Life Adventures, she wrote about her own hair story:

1999... The year I chopped off my hair coz I was bored of long hair... I always chop my hair when something huge is happening/happened... I chopped it when I left for University and I'm chopping it before my baby is born. This time however, I have a focus. If I have a daughter, I want her to love her curls. How can she do that if mummy is always at the end of a hair straightener? I need her to have amazing self esteem. For me to help her get there, I need to begin with myself. So I have put my hair in twists and come January, I will be cutting off my relaxed tips and retwisting my hair. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against relaxers or straighteners, I just NEED to do this not just for my future daughters but for myself. I'm going back to my roots.
I commented:

I am so happy you decided to take this step. I went natural in 2008 and it was a long journey which I didn't know I was taking. Now I have loc my hair I feel healthier and free within myself. Loving yourself in front of your children is the best thing ever.

Well done again. Hubby loves my natural hair and I am sure yours does too :)!
These two posts made me think about my own hair journey. I re-read my first post about my own journey. I don't write about it very much but the beginning of this year I wrote:

...yesterday I undid my braids and I washed my hair and kept it afro. I love it, but today when I went out I was so self-conscious about my appearance because it was since 1992 that I haven't allowed my hair to be natural. It was my mother's fault because she thought that it was good for me to retouch it with the chemicals. But since June 2009 I have gone back to my natural hair. I'm loving it. I believe that this is good for my because of the absence of chemicals in my hair and through my nose.
That was the beginning of the journey to motherhood and to love myself (these were some of the points on my new year resolution list). I am happy with my hair and satisfied as never before.

I wish many people can sing songs to celebrate their hair. Feel proud to have hair that look like a forest, like ocean waves or flat like a surf board. I wish people could not point their fingers at other people and say she or he doesn't have a good hair. To judge a person based on the fact that they have kinky hair, locs, curly or simply natural without chemicals or hot straighteners.

It is never too late to say enough is enough... I want my natural beauty back! This is what I said in 2009! Going back to your roots is a very personal choice and I don't believe people should do it for other people's satisfaction. I went natural because my heart and soul felt the time was right :)!
Unknown Mami

As you can read I have my own hair story to tell. However I don't know if my readers are interested in knowing the whole story. I would like to share with you, but I want a poll to decide. Just answer yes or no in the poll on the right sidebar.

Do you love your hair? Has your mother or anyone made you feel bad about your hair or the way you look? How did you over come that?

{{{P.S: I would love, LOVE to read about any issues or journey that your hair have taken you through on Thoughtful Wednesday Blog Hop interaction.}}}
Please write a post or just link an old post about your hair journey on Wednesday.

Let's share the story of our hair and the journey to natural beauty.


  1. That is so cute! I love that video, and loved the message! I also loved your comment to unknown mami. You're so right on with that.

  2. Nice blog post. So sad people are ashamed of their curly hair! My daughter has gorgeous curls and she knows it! I compliment her as well as strangers and friends everyday!!!

  3. Sommer J, I am glad you are doing that. I will be grow to know the important message you gave her.

  4. This post really touched me. I'm a little choked up right now. It really isn't just about the hair. I want all daughters to grow up embracing their uniqueness. Beauty has no limits except those we put on it.

  5. Great posts. I can definitely identify. I went natural a few years ago and I love my difficult to tame curls--it was a process though to get to this point. I also love wearing my hair in twists!

  6. i am actually transitioning as we speak. a lil scary for me as i have been relaxed more than natural in my life time. such a shame. even though i am nervous, i am excited. excited to learn about my hair and be true to who i am.

    beautiful post!

  7. im definitely in transition with my hair as well...amazing how much of who we are is attached to our hair. But the more relaxers i had and the more stress i put on my hair, the more depressed i believe it became! I am learning to embrace the natural look! It's not as curly as i would like it completely natural but it is getting there and the more natural i become, the more ME i feel and the less depressed my hair feels. My hair has never been more alive and completely FREE! Would love to hear your hair story! It may need to be told and shared and inspire others! Great posts. I may do an open letter to my hair one of these days!

  8. I am so happy to read that most of you are embracing the natural beauty.


    Miss Pancakes it will be great to read your letter to your hair. If you can please share it on Thoughtful Wednesday link up.

  9. I really like this. My mom ALWAYS had an opinion about my hair (and everything else!) and she simply resisted any change. She's since learned that hair is hair and I can be beautiful with lots of different 'dos! Show your kids it's okay to embrace their natural hair but don't resist their own experiments and adventures! That's what I plan to do with my girls. It would've been so much more fun to have my mom get a kick out of each of my "looks" as I did. Great post!

  10. What I Did Today, what great comment "Show your kids it's okay to embrace their natural hair but don't resist their own experiments and adventures!"

    Letting your child learn it is good when the direction is not authoritarian. That's what I would love to do with my children too.

    Thanks for stopping by.

  11. Yay!I love sesame street and have never seen this video! Since my hair has been in twists it has really grown, so much that i might have to take it out sooner than i thought! Transitioning is scary but once you're in there you'll be free... I feel free already and I haven't even done the deed yet!

  12. Beautiful post and you've inspired me to write my own hair journey! It's so funny how something as simply as hair can impact our self image. Unfortunately, in the western world hair (along with skin color) has become a means for determining beauty. I'm au naturale also and I wouldn't ever go back to perming.

  13. Me too Quiskaeya. Please come and link it up on thoughful Wednesday blog hop.

  14. I go back and forth between wearing my hair curly and straight. I wore it curly for YEARS, then after I had my twins I went for something drastic - I got an asymmetrical cut and started straightening it.

    I don't straighten it because I don't like it curly, I do it to change things up, and sometimes it's easier to manage. I like it either way.

    My mom always had an opinion about my hair - I had the hair she had always wanted, and she always tried to get me to wear it the way SHE wanted me to wear it. Needless to say, this caused many arguments in the mornings before I went to school!


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