30 Jan 2010

I Am Half way There

The Big part is gone. Yes, half of my third year at university is over. I handed in my last essay for the trimester yesterday. I feel good, but not excited, because I know I have to read more books for the upcoming trimester (February). I enjoy university but because I want to get good grades I end up panicking when essays are nearly due; instead of focusing on rearranging the contents and conclusion, I always read a lot and take notes worth for two essays. So in the end I have to panic. Knowing myself, I will miss these moments when is over...:(. But for now I should focus of getting the ideas together for my final year project.

My downside of loving university is my health. Due to my 100% commitments to the course works I find it difficult to be healthy as I promised to be this year.
Okay, okay after January there are other eleven months to go, but if I want to succeed in the plan I should stick with the points of EATING HEALTH, DOING regular FITNESS and keep a close eye on the plans like an obsessive. So far I have managed to keep 30% active, I must increase it to 40% at least. Then I need to start eating healthy foods again. I should always have breakfast, lunch and light dinner. I do skip breakfast a lot and at work when my essays were under way I was not having lunches. I know it is not good for my body but when I am stress my body refuse to eat and my mind tells me is unhealthy to eat when you are stressed because the food does not rest in stomach properly.

If anyone knows how to be healthy and still manage to do well in their chosen projects please don't hesitate to give me an advice.

Please Leave Comments
xxx T.

21 Jan 2010

Wishing for Something New

I secretly observe my hubby while we eat; in some extent I feel guilty for the decision I made nearly four years ago. He looks restless. I have seen him smile, when he watch our little nephew play with his father. I know what is going through his mind, but at this point I can't turn back. The big part of my heart is glad I made the decision; so I should not feel guilty as I do some days. I observe him again and the song of Natasha Bedingfield shouts out loud in my head. I want to have your baby..., but I know I should not be irrational.

Me and my hubby got married nearly five years ago. On our wedding day I was the happiest girl on earth; after all the frustrations and preparations,the previous days, I was marrying the man of my dreams - this might sound a cliche but it is true. The day was sunny hot, the castle a dream, and thanks to my family the decoration was perfect. My big summer wedding. To conclude, in the evening, we were blessed with light shower from the sky.

After the wedding we went on an adventurous honeymoon in the far East. We enjoyed it and loved the whole atmosphere. Then once we finished our honeymoon we began a lovely life together in London.

I started working few months after I moved to London. My life became a boring routine, working - coming home, working and coming home. Until I finally decided to take a decision in my life. I thought - girl, what do you want to achieve in life?
The answer was easy - a good education.
No, it did not come natural to me to think about babies. I was just twenty-something and thinking about babies was not on my agenda yet.

In the meantime my hubby was always happy chatting to his friends about how he was going to be the first, among them, to have a baby. In those occasions I was silence and very thoughtful. But he never noticed my expression. However one day after a dinner out with friends, once at home, I took the courage and said "I've been thinking about our future..."
"Good, me too. But you tell me first." I did not want to be the game spoiler therefore I went straight to the point.
"I want to start university. Yes, I want to complete my higher education." I could see the surprise on his face so, very quickly, I gave him the explanation. "Although I am happy with you I don't feel like I am complete with only my work.I really want to realise one of my dreams: to have a degree."
"I thought you enjoyed your work..."
"I do love it, but I don't feel complete with it... what did you want to tell me about our future?"
"I thought we could start a family."
"I would love to to but I feel like if I don't do this education thing now, I might never do it. Plus once we have a baby I want to dedicate most of my time with her/him." I knew I was destroying his dream but I wanted to be selfish in that moment. Plus I was thinking - If I don't do this I might blame my child, unjustly, for not completing my higher education. "Please, do understand me. Once we have the child I will be busy all the time and I believe now is the moment for me..."
"Okay, I will support you in this choice." Although he might have felt the world falling on him, he managed to hide it well. He kissed me and show how happy he was for me; I felt so good thinking about my future books and essays.

The following years were the trying moments of our marriage. Most of the time I had to work two days and go to university the remaining days. Even eating healthy food was hard for me but thanks to my hubby I survived. He is one of people who have supported me throughout this dream. He has been the wonderful person I have always known he is. I love him more everyday.

It is nearly the end of the hard work from both of us - apart from being a supportive hubby, he has always proofread my course works - and my natural instinct of desiring Something New is on the increase. Sometimes I feel like I should just do it, but the rational part of me stops me and says - you nearly have your degree. Soon you will you be stress free and will enjoy each minute of motherhood.

No, I am not bored and I don't want a new toy. I want Something New in our life because I feel ready and I know that we can take care of a BABY. During the past years, university had taken my life and now that is nearly over I believe I will be less stressed out and the moment will be perfect for us to put the cherry on the cake.
Now I pray the Almighty to give us the gift of a healthy Something New in this wonderful New Year.

May God answer the prayer.

Post for The MyBrownBaby Beautiful Mind Writing Contest :: January '10 Edition




19 Jan 2010

PPD = Postpartum Depression


I am building up my positivity. When was I negative? Last week was the worse of my RTZ. I felt ugly, bloated and I had no confidence in me. During this time I was constantly sad. The reason I feel like this is based on the fact that my dreams are not progressing. Maybe I am not alone but I feel like I am the only one.
And I wonder how I will cope if I ever get that post-natal depression. doctors can't really tell reason this 'illness' happen to mothers, however they always advice to act fast if WEEPINESS and DEPRESSION prolong after two weeks.
I know when I reach the bridge I will cross. I really hope it doesn't happen to me. However I wonder how I will cope if it happens to me. Maybe is not a big deal but I guess is a harmful feeling because it comes to you in a moment when you are supposed to enjoy your new baby, and share the joy with your family. During a time that should be wonderful for you and your family, a little voice in your head gives you bad thoughts.
Right now all I know and still pray for is a wonderful support from my lovely hubby and family. I like to talk about my feelings therefore I will not suffer in silence, so on that aspect I am not worried.

But right now I feel positive and looking forward to my last semester of university. I also monitor my intakes of blogging and web browsing.

xxx T.

14 Jan 2010

I Know Why: fitness works for women


Last spring I found out something I initially wanted to share with every woman in the world, but I then realise that maybe these women already know that keeping active and fit can prevent a painful circle - you know what I mean.
Yeah, the red zone time (RZT). When all you need to have on your mind is zero problems. But, as in my case, although I tried my best over the Christmas holiday to be active, I did not do well enough. I failed in keeping myself motivated to go on running and working out. I haven't done enough exercise for my body to keep itself immune from the circle pain. After doing some work outs on my Wii Fit I didn't go back on it for three days; my excuse "My mother was visiting for couple of days."
So last night I went to bed wearing a muscle warmer designed for us women during the RZT, but it didn't work. I woke up at 1:05 am and could not sleep even cuddling to my warm hubby. It did not help. In the end I went to what I don't like doing: the pain killer. I felt like a loser, because I'm trying to take less medicated products as possible in pursuit of my BP. If I keep to my plan of keeping fit always as a dedicated soldier I WOULDN'T be here in the middle of the night, an essay on the one side and my blog opened. And I wish I kept to the plan; fitness first.
Now I'm here insomnia still my companion, feeling dizzy but must complete 2500wds essay on Black Politics in 1960s USA in less than 10 hours - which I really want to get a good grade on. I pray my brain is clear enough to write that good paper.

xxx T.

11 Jan 2010

Lazy Monday

Now I know, I will give up Mondays' good resolutions and dedicate them to half felt course work writings and bad food eating. This will make me feel less bad about seeing all the good resolutions going down the drain.
I don't like thinking that I'm losing my own cause but Mondays are not good for me. I have to learn how to cope and win this fight. I blame it on the weather but I FOUND a solution to my problem. By reading more magazines and books I will solve the problem.
:)


xxx T.

9 Jan 2010

Cause I'm Good

Yesterday after being so harsh on myself for being lazy, today I've changed my opinion. I can officially say "Well done girl."
Let's start from:
1. I got up around half seven and after debating, mentally, about the quality of doing physical activity I decided to get up.

2. It is in these moments that you wish you never made a New Year resolution. To promise to cook and eat healthy these can become backlash resolutions. – Don’t get me wrong, I am trying my best and Wii fit instructor is helping me. Ah, ah... :)

3. It wasn’t easy to get out of bed and conquer the cold outside; initially I had to picture my future ideal body to manage to face the chill outside the duvets.

4. So I came out of bed around eight o’clock, thinking about Mel B, yeah Spice Spicy... (right,
beware these might be manipolated photos for commercial purpose)

5. I decided to think about Mel B. because after two kids she looks healthy and fit – not just skinny, but fit, curves on the right places, that is my ideal body

6. Wii fit might help me achieve that, normally I would prefer running outdoors, but the weather brrrr... I can'r face it!

7. I choose Wii for winter exercises and I would advice to run and do more outdoor sports in spring and summer. But for now Wii fit is my best homemade gym. I give 100% marks to those who run under rain and snow.

8. Wii was a good invention for this generation, because in some extent people are forced to do exercises while playing videogames

9. Thanks Wii fit, but people I am not here to sell Wii

10. If you don’t have money and want to be fit at home during winter days please use Billy Blank’s Boot camp video clips on You Tube. They help the kicking start for lazy women like myself... Ah, ah, :)
So, so cause I am good, I did it today. I felt fresh, energetic and very good the whole day. These are the quality of doing physical activity, body and mind remain liberated for the whole day. I believe in good health before, during and after pregnancy...

xxx T.

8 Jan 2010

Cause I'm Bad

Young beautiful student girl sleeping with books photo
Yes, 'cause I'm bad'. I feel like admonitioning myself for doing what I did today. Meaning not doing what I wanted to do: working hard on some coursework papers. First I tried to read a book related to the topic, then remembered internet and went on it to check my emails I have neglected for some days now. I then returned to my books, but then remembered to phone my family. I then tried to write my paper, but then phoned my hubby and asked him what time he was coming back home from work. I know if bad with myself because of this kind restlessness. I will be back on top soon, I will be good tomorrow.

Wait! One thing I should be proud of "Well done girl, you cooked - although the food is unhealthy-yummy thing - you did it. The hubby loved it so much that he ate three plates of rice and stew. Nice job girl."
Ehey, and the Wii told me, I'm fit. :)))!!!

xxx T.

3 Jan 2010

Laziness: bad habit

I did my deeds today. I woke up at 9.36am after eight hours of sleep. I didn't have my breakfast pronto, but at midday. I am addicted to writing my blog, that is why I neglect eating well. I wrote a broad story on my computer and went on reading some more blogs. I am becoming an addict to the web engine. I need to moderate my intake on that habit before tomorrow. I need to keep my eyes on my too much blogging, it is why I might not right every single day.

But let's me keep track on my plan. Today after having a late breakfast me and my hubby went for a skate. Very nice to keep fit and tone the legs and bum. I would have enjoy it more if it wasn't that the weather was killingly chill. We stayed for only thirth five minutes but it was still good for me.

Once at home I had a shower, then used the Wii Fit to we eat a big portion of stir fried rice. It was a big portion but I did not complain because I did some fisical exercise therefore there was room to add more calories.

xxx T.

2 Jan 2010

Skin care: plans on the way

I'm sleeping well again thanks god. Though I need to sleep more than seven hours the six hours I am sleeping at the moment are good for my body.

Well another day is coming to close. First thing first: yesterday I undid my braids and I washed my hair and kept it afro. I love it, but today when I went out I was so self-conscious about my appearance because it was since 1992 that I haven't allowed my hair to be natural. It was my mother's fault because she thought that it was good for me to retouch it with the chemicals. But since June 2009 I have gone back to my natural hair. I'm loving it. I believe that this is good for my because of the absence of chemicals in my hair and through my nose.

I am so on the plan; this is why today I decided to purchase Jojoba Oil and Almond Oil to cleanse my dry face. According to me beauty is synonymous of healthy living. This why for my plan I have to be healthy both from the inside to the outside. I must admit, it is hard to stick with an healthy eating plan. This morning, for instance, I had a muffin and two glasses of water. I know I should have had a nice bowl of cereal and milk. For lunch I did not eat nothing because I went to do some clothes shopping (clothes are anonymously on the plan, for me to look gorgeous) and buy the skin oil. Whilst I was there I bought the new magazine for Health. I am obsessed about magazines so I image the plan will be another excuse to buy more beloved magazines.

  • First thing I need to do is focus on my university assignment.
  • Second thing is to keep up my gym and yoga regime.
  • Third thing, most important, is the need to protect my skin from stretch marks. I am good on this aspecct because I have been very careful about the prevention of stretch marks since 1998. This was thanks to my love for fashion and beauty magazines.

Eating for the plan:

I should dedicate 30 minutes each morning having a great breakfast. I should eat and drink the following:
  • 1 glass of orange juice.
  • 30 grams of cereal.
  • 1 glass of water.
This will both give me more energy for the day.


xxx T.

1 Jan 2010

welcome 2010

It might be the way the numbers remind of smoothness but I feel so good being in 2010. My plan is going to be in the full action. I need to write my 2010 resolution to remember my plan everytime I open my blog. Keeping a blog, I believe, is a very good way to be organise in our modern lives.

- Cook and eat healthy food - more fruits and veggies

-Be active, be fit, love my body - always

- Do more yoga

- Visit Paris with my hubby

- Finish university with good grades

- Do a beach girlie holiday

- Keep loving blogging and update my blog - often

- Read more books about healthy living

- Learn one of the Akan languages

- Make a list of what to do before my 30

- Thank and praise the Lord more often

- Love the mature me - love myself more than ever

- Love my husband more than ever

- Love my family more than ever

- Contact my friends more often

- Be a good wife ... and begin the journey to motherhood.

- Make 2010 a wonderful, enjoyable year in everything...

HAPPY 2010 to everyone... love to the world!!!

xxx T.

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