When I was young, in the mid-90s, I did not know there was a word such as feminist. A work which encapsulated everything a strong woman should be like. However, instinctively I was one. I hated everything to do with women choirs, (but, I adored cleaning, and treated my cleaning as a work of art, I was the only one who did it best). During dinner time my mother would call me away from the television telling me "Come and learn how to cook..."
"How about G.?" I would say pointing at my brother.
"This is a girl's work not a boy's." I really hated to know that a girl was not allowed to sit and watch television like a boy.
Other times she would say "You have to learn how to cook for when you get married."
With phrases like that I would twitch my lips and be impertinent by answering back "I won't get married then." I really meant it and she would become livid with me.
Bear in my that she has always being a very hard working woman, who managed to bring up five children alone without a man because the husband passed away when the children were young. But, being a woman and having a daughter like me, she wanted to teach me how to be a good wife.
However, one thing she always encouraged me to do was reading my school books. She wanted me to become a lawyer or become someone important in life. And I always got her on this point.
Whenever there was a television program that I really liked, if she called me away and I remembered her weakness, I would open my book and say "I am studying for school." In this way my mother would leave me alone to my books. In the meantime I would be reading with one eye and watching telly with other.
These were my first signs of feminist thinking.
Growing up I always felt the need to be strong, independent and when the anthem for this feeling came out thanks to the Destiny's Child, I shouted and danced to it in front of the telly. My mother would then smile and say "My daughter is going mad..."
I related to the lyrics and sung Survivor without even being through any hardcore relationship. I was a real Destiny's Child generational kid. Never letting a man pay for my share of a dinner and demanded to be treated as equal.Wearing side slip red dresses at church, wearing trousers instead of skirts, being a rebel!
Then when I was seventeen, I met a guy who was dreaming about us together and forever. On our second date he carried himself away and said "I can see us in the future, you with your hairdressing salon and me with my gas station. I will buy you wonderful clothes and shoes." He talked as if that was my only dream. I went running... Okay, okay maybe it was too much for a second date?
Few years later, I then met my Hubby and all this boldness relented with time, just in moderation (I am still my little stubborn self). He believes that a woman and a man should share duties. That there should not be set rules for men and women.
Surely God knows me well to have sent me a man like him :)!
However, now that I am planning to become a mother, I want to be a feminist/house goddess. Someone who needs to be strong, independent, a hard worker but at the same time love to stand behind the stove. A woman who wears the glove on one hand and holds the pen on the other. Become a real Ms. Baby Plan, between diapers and dictionaries ;)!
Now to you, my readers.
Do you feel more feminist or home goddess?