19 Jan 2011

Motherhood...

...is going to be on my film-library.
I just heart it!


At a first glance the film is the usual Hollywood flick; with lot of exaggeration about the mental state of a modern stay at home mother (SAHM). The realities seem so horrible that one can quickly say no-way I am going to be a SAHM.

Let's me slow down. ***

The film portrays one day in the life of Eliza, a SAHM, who has to go through a lot. Eliza epitomises motherhood gone mad. She is a total chaos - does she even have a shower on that day? Her position as SAHM is based on the family financial situation - they can't afford to send their little child, Lucas, to a pre-school. Thus she stays at home with him and blogs at intervals about her frustration regarding the lack of adult conversation or writing that are not realistic. She feels trap in a monotone routine.

In the same day she makes the mistake to blog about the intimate comments her single mother best friend makes about her sexual life. The post causes a brief quarrel, but by the end of the day everything is forgotten.

In the course of the day Eliza is presented with an opportunity of a life time. She just have to write a 500wds about what motherhood means to her, this will give her the chance to enter into a competition to be able to write at home. However her daily tasks force her to put aside her writing until the last minute.

It was only towards the end of the film that she smiles and look at her children with the adoring eyes of a woman who carried them for 18 months between the two. She loves them so much that she forgets about herself and her dreams. The underlining message to me is that this putting aside oneself for your children can turn into frustration and annoyance towards them.

Then her husband shows her the miraculous check of $24.000.00 and they life change. She relaxes a little bit. Now, she can take time off being a SAHM to focus on her writings.

In the end Eliza concludes with the beautiful lines:
Motherhood ...is about accepting the limitation of time and energy,
which stretch beyond you,
even though sometimes it feels like they can consume you.

Search for

and hold onto your true self.
To lose that, what kind of mother can you be?

Things are always changing

and no matter how much we might want
things to stay the same...

You could take a picture of your kid every single day

and every single day
they just be getting older...

That's a fact...

a heartbreaking fact...
but it's still a fact.

So cease your days

and dwell on them fully.

Look at your children

because they know how to inhabit
brief periods of time
with extreme passion
and for nothing really
than the sake those moments.

They can help you remember that

if you only slow down let them.

Feel fortunate, because chances are good

that you actually might be.
I liked this movie because there are scenes that spoke directly to me - when the husband tries to give a feedback on Eliza's writing she takes it far too bad. I am exactly like that when I ask MrBP to be honest about my writing... mmm (men don't understand that be honest phrase)!

This film reminded me that, as a woman trying to enter in the realm of motherhood, I naively focus on the good side of motherhood. I forget about the ugly side. But Motherhood reminded me that to be able to enjoy the good times I have to be aware of the ugly times of everything in life.

Motherhood can bring frustration, sleepless nights, headaches and madness. Again motherhood/parenthood brings responsibilities: you are the guardian of a child delicate like a spring flower. You become a rock for someone that needs you more that anything in the world.

But along with the above come pure love. Only if you let that love lead you. For instance is through motherhood that you can appreciate the delicate hands of a child on your cheeks, motherhood makes you cry of joy when you witness the first steps of the baby you carried for 9months. Motherhood makes your ears sharp, so that you can hear the beautiful sound of a little unsure voice when the child pronounce his or her first word/s. Plus, it is thanks to motherhood that we feel our heart ache of joy when the child gives you the tender kisses because for her or him you are the best mother/parent/person in the world.

These responsibility make you a strong person, yet so weak.


For me, motherhood is accepting who you are and knowing that at the end of the hard day there is a bright little smile that lights your dreams and nights.


Now, I am 90% ready to take upon these responsibilities, knowing that at the end of the ugly moments the good times of motherhood are always the most memorable.


May conceiving time begin!

Now some questions:

1. What motherhood means to you?
2. Are you aware of the ugly and good side of motherhood?
3. Are you really, really ready to become a mother/parent?
4. How do you know?

Please share with me :)!



P.S: the next post is MsBabyPlan guide to how to prepare yourself for conception ;)!


10 comments:

  1. thanks for your comment on my blog. :) hopefully we'll be blog about pregnancy soon instead!

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  2. I loved this movie :) Just found your blog! I will have to look through it more once I have one on the way!

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  3. Love that movie!

    Now following from http://babydealsdujour.com/blog
    We list all of the daily baby deals in real-time. Would love for you to stop by and follow back!

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  4. Nice one. A new follower from Thrifty Thursday bloghop. See you.

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  5. I haven't seen this movie yet. Sounds like I need to! To answer your questions:

    1. What motherhood means to you?

    Motherhood means fufillment and sacrifice. Motherhood is preparing for the future and enjoying the now. Motherhood is the most frustrating and stressful but important thing I have and will ever do. Motherhood is putting the needs of others before my own most of the time and I'm ok with that.

    2. Are you aware of the ugly and good side of motherhood?

    Yes. But I'm pretty sure the good FAR out weighs the bad. Plus, if you focus on ugly, then ugly is what you'll get. So - it's best to look on the sunnyside of life. "Oh no! You pooped all over your clothes AGAIN! Well, I'm soooooooooo glad your pooper is working! I've got a healthy baby! YAY!" Lol. Ya know?

    3. Are you really, really ready to become a mother/parent?

    I thought I was. But, how can you ever really, truly be ready for something you've never experienced? Experience is the best teacher.

    4. How do you know?

    See above.

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  6. @ What I Did Today,

    thanks for the lovely comments, your words are so beautiful definition of motherhood :)!

    You are right experience is the only way to know if one is ready for anything in life :)!

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  7. My mom is amazing! It's crazy that my kids look up to me like that...
    on a depressing day, when my boy looks up at me and says "you're the best mom ever." then my heart cries because he thinks it's true and I know it's not...
    but on a happy day, I know that he doesn't need super mom...he needs me.

    My youngest twin has a congenital heart defect. People ask, "how do you do it" or "I could never do it"....but they're looking at it the wrong way. Moms don't think "I have xxxxx-much to give to meet my child's needs." they think "My child needs xxxxx." Then you tell yourself "I'm tired, but I can do 10 more minutes....I can clean up this vomit...I can hold her til she sleeps."....then 10 minutes later you re-evaluate what needs to be done.
    my advice -
    carve out some "just you" time. even if it's just 20 minutes. Don't do any kids' stuff. and when you're with your kids, don't try to sneak in any "just you" stuff - like blogging. cuz if you do, at the end of the day you'll feel like the kids took all your time and the kids will feel like they didn't get any time.

    Maybe that came across in the movie....I haven't seen it.

    Motherhood can be about the love or it can be about the guilt - cuz you can always find something you should've done better....or you can kiss those smiles and tickle their tummies and declare it a good day.

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  8. not yet a mother but i have heard some ugly stuff about it....like no sleep!!!!!!!!! im dreading this most of all...hence why i am no where near motherhood...can't wait to hear about your experiences soon!

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  9. Just starting out on the TTC road. I'm scared to death. I've done my checklist (dentist appt. tomorrow!) and am ready physically and emotionally to bring a baby into our family. I'm just nervous about it being possible. I didn't know that it was going to be a roller coaster of emotions each month "am I?", "I'm not", "am I?". It's gut wrenching and trying to not stress about it makes me even more stressed. Gah.

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  10. Don't stress out Tami, everything will turn out alright.

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