18 Feb 2011

Do I really Want To Become a SAHM?

That's the question!

If you read my previous post you know that we are still waiting to become parents and still waiting to receive our Canadian visa - thanks for the prayers, we are more positive :). Living this uncertain situation, in which I don't work and I am not pregnant, makes me consider some aspect of motherhood.

When I naively began planning for baby, I expressed the desire to become a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM). I considered putting on hold my career in pursuit of motherhood. I was thinking about my need to be near our children for as long as they needed me. I thought about home schooling them for some times. Apart from caring for my little ones, I wanted to write the novels I have in my head, however my priorities were going to be for my beloved children.

But our current, unplanned, situation which has forced me into a temporary unemployment, makes me reconsider the above notion of SAHM. We've been living with my in-laws for more than three weeks. I am not settled into the routine I planned to follow from the end of January. Be in Canada, stay at home and write my novel. Stay fit and become pregnant and then spend the following nine months writing my novel. Then find a publisher to publish the book. I knew that the little person I would be carrying would inspire me to work hard on my writing career. I want to be able to do well for my children, and when I would be caring one inside, the baby would encourage me to break all obstacles.

The chance of me becoming a future SAHM is slimming down. Don't get me wrong, once I have my babies I will be the first to stay at home for as long as they will need me - MrBP and I have discussed this. But for the time being I believe I have to change my priorities. I have to make sure that my writing is viewed as something that brings in some income. I have to develope my career. I don't have to think about my pregnancy encouraging me to do well in my career. I don't have to think that SAHW(oman) is best for me. I must balance my priorities. I have to write but maybe not home school my future children. Maybe I should consider letting them stay at home until they are able to talk - two years?

Now that parenthood depends on fate and our visa depends on the High Commission of Canada, I MUST create the space and time to work hard on my writing career. Okay, okay, I am still crafting my writing skills – this blog is helping loads, and my lovely ladies reading my words encourage me to write more – but my family doesn't consider blogging proper writing. They will recognise me as a writer only once my work is out in print or on professional journalistic website. No-body will take me seriously until I point my finger at some other website or magazine and say "Yes, I wrote that." Oh, that would be sweet!

At the moment I don't care about money, I am MORE interested in getting experience and promoting my words. But getting articles accepted for publication seems so difficult. Maybe I am approaching the wrong magazines or writing the wrong articles. I will start focusing on approaching online magazines. I am working hard on my novel again and I hope things turns out fine. I want to feel myself again!

So, to answer the above question I would say when the time is ripe, I don’t want to be a SAHM but work-at-home-mum; even more suitable, I want to be a write-at-home-mum (WAHM). I want to get paid to write from home. I want to enjoy the happy moments of my children and be there when they need me most. I want to be able to enjoy motherhood and be happy in my career.

Another help sweet ladies - I know I am becoming boring :(!

1. Are you aware of any online writing opportunities available for someone interested in writing travel articles or life style articles? - I am offering my writing service in exchange for writing experience. I hope someone can help me get one :)!

2. Do you ever feel that your child inspires you do better for your life?


  1. I do think that children inspire you to do better in life... I'm pregnant with my first and definitely desire to be healthier and to succeed in what I feel God has called me to do! Good luck with your writing career. I really enjoy reading your blog. :)

  2. I think that if you want to work from home, then you can make it happen.

  3. My sister had a novel that she began writing pre-pregnancy and planned to have it finished by the time her 1st arrived. Sometimes writing doesn't follow the plan though. She was only able to finish it after she moved after her twins (the 2nd & 3rd children) were two years old. It's a stunning book though.

    Don't put too much pressure on yourself. See where your writing takes you. Unforced writing, in my humble opinion, is the best writing.

    P.S. I have my fingers crossed that your visas come soon. I think it would be such an amazing adventure for you.

  4. Good luck with your writing career. I have a feeling you will find something soon. And good luck with the Visa's. I'm in my 30's so my life was well established before we had kids. I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom, but I can't right now cause I have lots of student loans I have to pay back. I am very fortunate that I can work 3 days a week and stay home with my kids 4 days a week. I love my schedule so much. It's the perfect fit for me. Being a SAHM is VERY hard at times, so I'm glad I get to balance it with work also. .

  5. I think that you will be an excellent WAHM! There are so many women that stay home with their children but also make an income by doing other projects from home! You can definitely do it!


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