30 Mar 2011

How TOI Might Get Her Groove Back

Disclaimer: I don't know much about depression but I feel low sometimes and I know that feeling low is the worse thing any one can ever experience.

This feeling can come in many forms. The desire to stay in bed, hide yourself away from the rest of the world. This could be signs of depression, please if you are feeling any of these symptoms talk to a trusted friend and consult your GP.

Last week I started to feel low in spirit. Physically I felt great, but emotionally I was all over the place. At one stage I was full of joy and I wanted to jump up and sing. Maybe, I did that but I don’t remember. At another stage I was at the library and I felt these emotions coming over me. Making me feel vulnerable and teary. I didn’t know what was happening to me and I couldn’t express the feelings.

Maybe I am still a little bit over the place right now, but I will try my best to explain how I felt.

I was feeling low, the mood swings came and went. The mornings were the worse. As soon as I woke up it was difficult to get out of bed, maybe it is caused by the fact that we are sleeping on a futon? (Can’t wait for our real bed to come :)! On Monday, I was feeling nostalgic and I didn’t leave the house. I felt good acknowledging my nostalgia, but yesterday I went for a walk and listened to my IPOD. I went to the library and borrowed few books. Books that help my writing, although in my current state I don’t know how I can achieve my goal by this summer, mmmm.

Well, I realised that in the afternoons, after forcing myself to live life, I feel better. But, all in all it was difficult to live in this mood swinging state.

So today, I decided to do something different. I analysed how my exercising routine have changed since January. Maybe I decided to do this after reading Things I Can’t Say PYHO’s post, in which she wrote:

“…A big reason is because exercise does make me feel better. It's a huge stress relief and a confidence boost once I feel like I won't be out of breath walking to the mailbox am strong and in shape.”

I commented “OMG, I don't remember when was the last time I weighed myself... January 15th maybe?

Now I am dreading about putting too much weight on after baby, I should just think about the beautiful thing I will get after the journey to motherhood, still I have to work out so that I don't feel too bad about my body image.
Well done for taking the steps to a healthy you :)”

Even without standing on a scale, I know that I’ve put on weight since last summer, when I was working out and getting ready for motherhood. While living with my in-laws, eating peanut butter and freshly baked bread, I didn’t do any exercising, apart from… you know what ;). That kind of unhealthy living was the major killer to my fitness and health. I realised that, maybe, my mood swings are caused by my worries about becoming huge after baby. I am worried because I can’t fit some of my old clothes. Clothes that I could fit into in January and even February.

After that comment I took my Mari Winsor’s workout DVD out and shook my booty.winsor-pilates-basic-3-dvd-workout-set-20 After dancing and getting into the routine for about thirty minutes, I was feeling much better. However, I am feeling like my mood is affecting my appetite – mmm, I don’t know what is happening to me.

I got a little bit of my groove back and I am going to workout a little bit every day, until I can sign up at the gym. I miss swimming, yoga and pilates – those are the best exercises for my fragile and ever-changing mood. Well this is another boring post from me today.

I know my posts have being boring lately, I will get better. Now the weather is getting very nice and I am going for a walk and to absorb some vitamin D.

This post is about how I was feeling this morning, I am so optimistic about the future :).



  1. I don't think your posts are boring. I think they are real and I appreciate that. I'm hoping that you start feeling better just by being more active (exercise does release "feel good hormones"--lol). Also you've had a major transition recently. You're probably in the adjustment phase still and I think that most ppl have periods like what you discussed above. Best of luck to with you becoming more settled :)

  2. working out is definitely a way to get your endorphins working and hopefully the depression will be lifted...change is always a process...give your self time to transition...don't rush things. Enjoy the vitamin D

  3. Great post and lovely blog!
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  4. You've had some major life changes lately. Give yourself some time to adjust! :o)

  5. I'm sorry that you've been feeling down. I think that we all have moments when we just don't feel like ourselves. I hope that you'll start to feel better soon!

  6. the web is full of gimmick bloggers but the reason i know i keep coming back to your blog and your posts is because you blog authentically and i love that...

    Last year, when I went through the "happiness project" I found Grechin's advice spot on: "When you don't feel something- fake it." At first i thought it was nuts... but when i didn't feel like folding laundry, but i faked it- pretty soon i was enjoying it. when i didn't feel like excercising but faked wanting too- pretty soon i was loving it. It's so true...


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