24 May 2011

How Would It Feel – to hear the joyful news from a broadcaster

I just had a go at my mum.

She decided to be a broadcaster. She’s telling the whole world about my pregnancy! I don’t know since when but, she is telling everyone that I am pregnant even before I’ve done my proper scan. I told her to wait, but she couldn’t.

That p*** me off!

We want to let everyone know about Berry, but we are waiting for the next scan to be sure everything is going on smoothly.

I minded when she didn’t wait for me to break the good news to my younger brother, but that was fine even when my younger brother phoned me one day and said “I am always the last to know about everything.”

“What?”

“You are pregnant and you haven’t told me.”

“I just found out and I’ve only told two people, mum and N. Of course I was going to tell you. Plus, I am still in denial.” That was beginning of April. Although it was fine in the end, it pained me to hear him say that, because he felt left out. I was annoyed with my mother, because I don’t want people to feel bad and left out like I did when I came to know about the pregnancies of my two sisters-in-law from a third party.

After the conversation with my brother, I was quick enough to let one of my sisters-in-law and my elder brother know about my pregnancy before it was spoilt by my mother.

Then, yesterday my ‘supposedly’ best friend asked me “How about the belly?”

I was surprised because I haven’t told her yet. She came to know something about my belly from another girl – my mother’s best friend’s daughter. That’s mean, because I would have LOVED to let my friend hear the joyful news from myself when the time was right for me to let her know.

But the shock came today when I was told me that half of the Ghanaian community in Italy know about my pregnancy!

Now, I regret telling my mother about my pregnancy as early as I did, but for respect I did. I regret telling her because she doesn’t seem to be respecting my decision to wait before telling people who are not my close family, but her extended friends!

I want people to know that I am pregnant from myself and not from a third party. I know how people are, many will hold grudges against because I didn’t tell them in person. I am annoyed at my mother because she doesn’t have the right to go telling people what is my right to do!

I’ve decided to let her in the dark from now on. Off course I will tell her I am doing fine but I will not tell her if I am having a boy or girl. She can wait to hear it from other people.

Let’s see how it feels to hear the good news from a broadcaster!

  • Do you think I am overreacting?
  • Would you mind if your parents went about telling everyone a good news you would like to announce yourself?
lifeofTOI

9 comments:

  1. While I can understand your frustration and anger (and think it's justified to a degree), your mom is probably just excited.. If you wanted to keep it a secret, you should have told no one and then you could still have shown your mom the proper respect by letting her be the first to know after you had your scan.

    I'm not saying what your mom did was right, but she was probably too excited to keep the news to herself... And, especially in Italian communities, the news travels fast (I know this from experience).

    Anyways, that's my two cents.

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  2. Hi, I read often but dont comment often but had to comment on this because I went through something very similar. I know you are upset right now.. but dont cut your mother out. Its not worth it. She is just happy and excited and not even putting any thought into it about how it may be affecting you.. but its coming from a loving place and although that doesnt make it right, that doesnt make it punishable as well. Dont let your anger get the best of you. Especially in a time where you should be happy!

    Speak to her, let her know your stand and ask her to respect that out of love for you- Im sure she will.

    All the best!

    Ro

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  3. i understand why you are upset ... because i would be too. my mother is the biggest secret keeper in the world so it is kinda difficult to put your situation in my shoes.... i am trying to think of the person not being my mom and i KNOW i would be so pissed off!

    i know your mother is super excited and that is why she has told people but i also understand that she really should have listened to your wishes because now she has put you in a difficult spot. if you are worried that she will get out information before you are able to tell people you want to tell in person ... you can always phone them all the same day and then call your mom last if you want to ensure that hard feelings don't happen again.

    either way, i am sorry.

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  4. I definitely hear your frustration! I have a "broadcaster" mom too! Talk to her and let her of she can keep certain things private until you share with people. She might keep it but then again it's hard to trust that someone is going to keep a secret even when we ask them too! We only have control over what we share with people!! Good luck Toi!

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  5. I completely understand your frustration. My mother is the same way. And while it is great that she is excited, it is your news to share. I told my in-laws, father, and close friends before I told my mom. I would be hurt if I found out my sister was pregnant from my mom vs. my sister. It is just something we've grown to understand. Her excitement over powers the ability to think clearly about what her daughter might want. I think its perfectly acceptable to tell her after you tell the rest of your family what the gender is. I still think its important for you to tell her, as much as you are upset now, regardless of how many others you tell first, she should hear it from you. Good luck!!

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  6. I totally understand your feelings. It's your very first child and inherently extra special - of course you'd like to share the news with people you love directly instead of 3rd party.

    But I also understand you being torn about it because it is your mother. That's a hard one. All I can say is have a talk with your mother about it and let her know it's your news to share, not hers. Let her know it upset you not to be able to be the person to break the news. But what's done is done. Just appreciate that she is just as thrilled as you are to be welcoming a new member to the family soon and just hope that it doesn't happen again the next go-round.

    Good luck!

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  7. Aw Toi!!! I'm sorry you're upset and I understand you completely. I would be really upset if my mom did that. I'm glad she's happy for you though! :)

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  8. I totally get why you are upset, but I'm guessing that Berry is your mother's first grandchild? My parents went a little wild when we told them about The Boy. Just know that she isn't doing it to be mean or malicious. She is excited and she wants everyone to share in that excitement.

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  9. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think you should have a heart to heart with your mother. She may be so excited about telling the world about her grandchild that she is forgetting about her own child's thoughts and feelings. You should speak to her and let her know how you feel about other people hearing about your pregnancy from people other than you. She should understand that your request are reasonable and that if she wants to continue sharing this intimate journey with you she will have to do it on your terms. Good luck my dear!

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