20 Dec 2011

Guest Post: Teresha from Marlie and Me

Parents Are People Too

When I became pregnant the first time I just knew that I was going to be the #1 mom on the planet. I was going to breastfeed, use cloth diapers, make homemade baby food, teach my daughter two languages, potty train her by 18 months, throw the best birthday parties, and blog about how super I was all while keeping an immaculate house. Then harsh reality quickly set in. I did accomplish some of my parenting goals, but I was also sacrificing myself trying to do too much. I realized that didn't have to cram everything in at once, some things could wait so that I could budget some "me-time" (and some "couple time" too!).

When I look back I wonder why I put myself under so much pressure to be a mombot. Maybe it was subliminal messages I received from TV shows that portray moms as superheroes who wear designer jeans and rock salon-gorgeous hair. Maybe it was the need to fit in with the moms in my neighbourhood who seem to do it all, take care of their families, run businesses, and hold leadership positions in the PTA. Wherever I got the idea doesn't matter. What matters is that it is an unrealistic standard.

The movie, I don't Know How She Does It is the perfect illustration of my argument. i-dont-know-how-she-does-it-poster In the film Sarah Jessica Parker plays a working mom trying to prove that she can juggle work and family without dropping any balls. I have not seen the movie, but I have read several reviews. From what I gather the secret to her "success" is that she takes a lot of shortcuts while pretending that her life is seamless. Of course it all comes a part and she has to face the fact that she is simply human.

That is the truth I discovered after I nearly ran myself ragged trying to maintain a supermom lifestyle. I was exhausted, cranky and sad. I told myself it shouldn't be this way. Parenting is a journey, not a race. Yes, it has its challenges, but it shouldn't leave you gasping for air.

I have since re-prioritized my time. I asked myself what are the things that are most important to get done on mom watch? On the list is to make sure that I spend quality time with my daughter doing the things that she loves like reading and watering the plants; that the family has home cooked nutritious meals and snacks every day; that I carve out a coulee of hours daily for myself to do something I enjoy. So I make time for these activities and leave everything else for later (attend PTA meetings...later, become a social media guru...later). My new parenting attitude is take off the cape and be a human being.

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what a beautiful post. I do too believe that motherhood, unlike pregnancy, is a life time journey and we better recognise that we are humans too.

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me and my readers.

teresha Teresha is a wife, stay-at-home mom to a feisty 2-year-old girl and is expecting her second child in April. She blogs about her experiences as an urban hippie mom at Marlie and Me, don’t forget to visit.

8 comments:

  1. this is such great advice...im not a mom yet but even as a wife..it's important to have certain priorites in life! You have such a beautiful family Teresha...and Marlie is too cute!

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  2. I think this post is so wonderful! These days, most households are two-income. Meaning that house mom's are fairly rare. I'm sure many women feel they have to hold down both full-time jobs perfectly and it's just not possible! It's wonderful to be able to say, "I'm human, and that's OK!"!!!

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  3. What a great post! And something for me to remember when I myself have children! It is not to hear that it is OK to not be supermom.

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  4. Very honest guest post. These days, I think we're fed we're supposed to be supermoms, and when we can't we feel defeated.

    One of the first lessons that I also learned, was that I cannot do it all.

    We should be enjoying our children's young years because Lord knows, when they get older, it's going to be a whole new can of worms ;-)

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  5. It's so great to give yourself a break as a mom, it's so so important I'm glad she does!

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  6. Fantastic post Teresha! This really rang true for me: "Parenting is a journey, not a race." I'm feeling completely overwhelmed lately not just with Nia's toddlerhood but with other life events as well and sometimes I just have to leave a lot undone at the end of the day, but like you said if I can check off the most important things: spending quality time and cooking nutritious food that makes me happy!

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  7. I really love Teresha's post because as a new mother i need to know that sometimes is okay to have some me-times :).

    I am doing it just the minute while Miss AOI is in her swing.

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  8. Such great advice. I wish I had read posts like this when I became a mom 4 years ago. But I have since then learned that you have to take time for self and make priorities. :)

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