Adoption is a delicate topic. Although in recently years people are a little bit more open minded about it, they are still some myths and controversies about it.
I’ve always being interested in the idea of adoption but never read about the process and the psychological impact that involves adoption until few weeks ago, when I received Adoption Nation: How The Adoption Revolution Is Transforming Our Families – and America by Adam Pertman to review.This detailed book is dedicated to the stories and changes that adoption is bringing to American society. However, it also discusses the financial issues related to adoption in the States and abroad. In the book you can read about the stories of some birth parents and how in the past they had to hide their identities from their children, but how these days it is possible for a child to look for their birth parents if they choose to. In the past adoption was so secretive that some children lived their whole life thinking they were somebody else until they found about their true identity in later stage of their lives. This used to cause deep psychological traumas, but the new approach about adoption is making people more open in many ways.
It is from the book that I learnt that nowadays people are more open minded about adoption. And don’t view it as a bad thing. One example can be depicted by films such as Juno. In the book the author explains how in the past teenagers were forced to forget about the children they carried for nine months leaving these girls traumatised for life. Nowadays, when a teenage becomes pregnant by accident, she can securely and confidently opt to have her child adopted by approaching an adoption agency where they can fully be part of the decision to whom allow the child to go to. This was what happened when Sharon Stone adopted her first child, although in her case the adoption was private as opposed to through an adoption agency.
I read the book with interest because as I wrote before it is detailed but very easy to understand. However, the part I was very interested in reading was about the impact race and ethnic background can affect an adoption process. They are cases in which parents won’t adopt because the child is from a different background from their. This can be understandable because many of us like to stick to their comfort zone.
In the book the author points out that together with his wife, both have olive-toned, Jewish –looking, adopted a fair-skinned boy and a blond-haired girl. He argues that sometimes people stare but it is not as strong as when it come to children and parents from different ethic background. But he concludes that there is a successful story in all colour. Meaning people shouldn’t be discouraged from adopting children that don’t look like them or come from the same ethnic background. He points out that adoption has helped American society break race barriers but this doesn’t come with some people making nasty and mean comments.
I’ve always being curious about why for some people is an issue adopting a child who is not from the same ethnic background as theirs. This is so evident when it comes to celebrities adopting children from different nationality. But what really upsets me is when people, especially those who may never in million years think about adoption, make nasty comments about the children these parents decide to adopts a child who needs parental love.
Last year Sandra Bullock adopted the cutest and sweetest child you could possibly set your eyes on. He melts my heart, and I am sure he did the same thing to Sandra Bullock. Ms Bullock, being very private, kept the baby protected from paparazzi ratio. But when she finally showed us her beautiful baby Louis. What some other saw was his race and background. American but from African American not European American. Today, last year, Denene Millner at MyBrownBaby brought to our attention how on twitter some went far to to make nasty comments on the doption:
Sandra bullock loves black ppl. Blind side, Regina King in Ms Congeniality & now she adopted a black (american) baby. Clap 4 her LOL
Did Sandra Bullock adopt a black baby? I thought that fad had pass in Hollywood just like small dogs in LV bags.
Wish I cud adopt a black baby like Madonna, Angelina Jolie n Sandra Bullock...OH WAIT... I can produce dem frm ma own lovely uterus :)
Sandra Bullock is taking this "Blind Side" thing too far...
It was mean and nasty. Not many women can have children and when they decide to adopt a child, those standing aside make comments like those above. That’s was heart breaking for me to read, image the children that might hear these comments from ignorant people.
To that I commented:
The baby is so, so CUTE.
I don't get it, when people vow to love somebody they complain! Come on. The boy could have been without the love of a parent and Sandra wants to give it to him. Plus the boy will always know who he is. Is the same folk that judge who will force him to lose his identity not the mother who adopts the child.
Please let the good people love!
CONGRAT Sandra and all the mothers who decide to love a child no matter the COLOR!
I really do believe that colour shouldn’t matter in loving somebody and hope that the adoption revolution in the world can open peoples mind into embracing diverse culture and race.