31 Oct 2011

Toddlers and Tiaras {and a giveaway winner!}

As a kid I remember putting on nail polish and lip gloss. When I was 15 my mother told me that if I start wearing heave make early I would get wrinkles – that was enough to scare me until 17. Enough about me.

I am here to talk about Toddlers and Tiaras.

The first time I heard about the show was on a British documentary documenting about how mothers push their children to dress up and wear make up. Some children enjoy the pampering and make up but others don’t like it and sometimes they throw tantrums to which the parent shout at them – or call them names.

I feel for these little children because they have to go through such competitive show. A show that can even make an adult lose the confidence. A show that judges children for their make up, their hair style, their costume and fake smile. A show that triggers in children the idea of perfection is good. A show that hides the innocence of these children under heavy make up and over the top clothing. A show that force children to start from young to become obsessed with beauty.

Some children freak me out with their attire. I wonder what people might think when they see these little angels dressed like this:Some others, although they look like perfect porcelain dolls – thanks to photo shop –
they freak me out because they remind me of Moira Orfei, an Italian circus mogul, who has a porcelain face in adult body – creepy!All I wish for those children is to have parents that can preserve their innocence – even if they are to participate in beauty pageant shows.

The image of children I like to see are:

when children are cool but still children when we look at them. When their smile is natural (from the heart and when they don’t wear heavy make up.

Questions: What do you think of Toddlers and Tiaras? What is your opinion on children wearing heavy make up? Would you allow your toddler to wear make-up?

TOI

PS - the winner of The Magic Warble is…

Kelley L.

{Congratulations Kelley, please send me an email to claim your price}

the winner was selected randomly by Random.org

28 Oct 2011

Week 36 – Just A Dream

Dear Berry AO,

I have few more weeks to enjoy you in my womb. To have your daddy whisper to you, through the belly wall, “I can’t wait to meet you.” I said it before but I can’t stop saying it, I am going to miss having you turn in my belly. Before having you I thought having a baby in the womb would cause pain like my monthly period, but it is not at all the same. Having a human being move inside your belly is an indescribable beautiful sensation. The emotions are so many one cannot find the words to describe them all.week36

Pregnancy has taught me to be patient but lately I am dreaming of you because I want to see you so much. I want to kiss your cheeks, have you on my chest near my heart, feed you and be your mother. Yes, I am feeling ready to be a mother. There is a difference in being pregnant  and being a mother – I will explain another time.

Everyone can’t wait see how you look like, but I want to see you full. I dreamt your birth last night.

We were home, the doula was here with me and daddy. Downstairs were some doctors. When I felt you coming I told daddy to start feeling the birthing pool. I wanted to have you in the pool. He was filling the pool, but then I saw the doctors bringing you to me. I was upstairs the whole time so I don’t know how all the birth happened. I thought I was going to be cross, but I was so happy to see you wrapped up tight and warm in a swaddle. That I just forgot about water and everyone around me. I was enthralled by your cutie small face, little nose and dark eyes. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.

I know my subconscious is playing because you are always on my mind. It is true how much I want you to be here. However, I can wait few more weeks, because you are the best baby to be in a womb. It feels like I am carrying a football or basketball in my belly, so pretty and round – I thinking about doing a belly cast.week

I was going to wait until the first of November to start washing the items I been buying for you, but I couldn’t resist. Yesterday I went to buy a fragrance free washing powder formulated for delicate skin like yours. Today I washed and dried all your beddings, blanket and winter jacket. It was so pretty to see all the light bright colours in the water. Next week I will hand wash your vests and sleepers.

I’ve been so good for eight months and a week. The excitement to have you here is slowly putting me into my old impatient self. All-right!!! I can wait three weeks and few hours more.

Until next entry a big belly rub, love and kisses,

Mummy.

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27 Oct 2011

Boxing You In

Disclaimer: This post was written more than two months ago, but after I wrote it I didn’t feel like publishing it, because it is LONG and quite personal. But recently talking to my younger he told me about his experience when he was little. He feels he was wronged at school. He asked me (translated from Italian) “Why a child must be mistreated only because is different colour?… The difference between a child and an adult… is the possibility {for the adult} to defend himself or herself, meaning how does a child know about lawyers… how does a child of seven {years old} know what is wrong and what is right???”

I feel time has come for me to click the publish button.

_________________________

As the weeks roll near the end of my pregnancy I dread the days when people will “box” my child.  I dread the days when society will not let my child be a free entity but will force the boxing ideology into her/his life.  Boxed, that’s a good word to help express my emotions!  The dictionary defines to be boxed in as: “enclosed in, closed in or surrounded or included within”. As a black woman, married to a white man, I feel that society will try to enclose my child as they please.boxed {via}

And this aspect of motherhood scares me.

As a child and even as an adult, people have tried many times to “box” me in.  Although at times I fight against being boxed around, sometimes I question if I am really free from all the boxing? When you've been enclosed in for so long it is difficult to break away from your prison box without people making you feel like you are different.

Few years ago, I was talking to this guy about how to budget money and plan for one’s future. After my point of view he commented “Mame (a Ghanaian affectionate term for a female), you talk sense. You know? You talk like a white person.” I was offended and shocked. My blood boiled. If he wanted to speak in colours then why couldn’t he recognise that I am a clever black woman? Why always associate cleverness to whiteness {I write this based on other comments from other people}? I said “I don’t talk like a white person, I speak like me, TOI!”   

His words threw me in the loop although I was able to defend myself.  My child, I am afraid may not have the words to defend herself or himself.  Words are easily used without knowing the origin and for what purpose our ‘ancestors’ used it for. I know that in certain places black and mix-race children are called all kinds of nasty names. I know I will always try my best to protect my child from many things but I don’t think I can protect him/her at the play ground. When nasty kids will call her/him awful names because their parents didn’t teach them better.

I believe my worry is accentuated by the fact that a well known English historian, David Starkey, commented “There has been a profound change… the white have become black”, when he was interviewed about the reasons behind the August 2011 riots in London, England. He went on to equate black culture to violence, gangsterism, nihilism and destruction. He concluded that young black and white kids operate in a false language like the Jamaican patwa which has ‘intruded’ into England; and many of ‘them’ – David Starkey’s sort – feel like they are living in a foreign country. He pointed out that black culture is not about skin colour but ‘cultural’. He went so far as to state that if you close your eyes and listen to David Lammy, a successful black British politician, you would think he was white.

The pity, aside from the black community being boxed-in, is that Starkey is part of those who tend to have power over historical books and TV programs which blatantly stereotype against black culture. The English riots happened not because of a cultural shift, but mainly because there is a great divide in the social and economic distribution in the world. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. It is easy to blame the situation on culture to mask the real issues.

My child will be born into this high intense racial era in the media and society.  As a proud black Ghanaian woman, married to a white British man, I don’t want my mixed-cultural child to refuse her black Ghanaian heritage due to what the media promotes {I know it won’t happen, but who knows}. I am dark skinned.  I have curves.  I have natural locks and full lips. I speak with an accent. Her father is light skinned, has blond hair, blue eyes and fine lips. He speaks with an accent.  All these different traits will converge in my child’s make-up. 

The popular image the media and society will teach her is white is beautiful and desired. And I will point out her black side is also beautiful and desired.  I will show her/him that black culture is more than simple hip-hop, consumerism and gangster ideology. I will teach her that black culture has great literature, music (jazz, blues, easy listening…), arts, great politicians and human right activists. ama-tile-horz

My greatest wish for my baby is to not let people push her/him into a preconceived box. But knowing how most human beings reason in our society, someone will try {like it happened to me, my sister and brother growing up in the West)!  And when that happens, I would have done my best to teach my little one good values including, loving who she/he is {identity and culture}. Never accepting the box but pushing and fighting against it and just being herself/himself – human!

Few days ago my brother had to stand up for himself because he was accused by one of his housemates for something he never did. The landlady without asking his version of the facts sent him an eviction note, this was a form of discrimination. While we were talking he said “… you have the most beautiful thing in this world in your womb… and the first thing I will teach her/him is to forgive those who don’t know…”

There may be many words swimming around in my mind but the one that stands out right now is LOVE.

The love I have for this little child I have yet to meet.  My emotions may be high, my thoughts rampant.  But my heart is at peace as I feel the butterflies in my stomach.  I know what is going on in the world at this moment but for now, I am glad my little Berry is safely “boxed” in, loved, and protected within my womb.

Question: Have you ever felt ‘boxed’ in?

26 Oct 2011

Preparing for Labour

At my week 34 visit with the midwife, thinking about this post, I asked “In 2006 one of my friends told me that she used homeopathic kit, evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea and arnica, to prepare herself for labour. I would like to know more about.”

“Very well because it is on the list of things to talk about today.”

She explained all my queries. So since last Saturday I am drinking a cup of raspberry leaf tea to help the muscle of the uterus tone up for labour. Red-Raspberry-Leaf-Tea

I am going to start using the evening primrose oil next week to help the cervix soften. I read the side effects of primrose, but I also read that baby will not come if she or he is not ready to come into the world. primrose oilFrom week 39 I will do more movements thanks to Berry Birth Dance & Upbeat playlist. And from week 40 I will start using the homeopathic kit she recommends. This is just a way to prepare naturally.

Yesterday, our midwife came home for the week 36 home visit routine. Is part of the service to confirm if the house is appropriate for home/water birth. We talked about our birth plan and I am happy about it – I will share some details in another post.

In the afternoon we went to talk to the anaesthetist. Now, in case of an epidural I am more informed. I am not scared to have the needle around my lower area as I was in these posts. Talking to the anaesthetist in private helps a lot because I now understand that things have moved on since I had my lumbar puncture (LP) and epidural is very different from LP. Now, I know that IF I have to have an epidural I will not freak out, because my goal in labour is HEALTH BABY-HEALTHY MUM.

Are you using anything to prepare yourself for labour? Do you have a birth plan?

25 Oct 2011

The Playlists

Wow, finally I think I have enough music for Berry’s birth playlist, but there are some more I want to add on the Soothing and Classic Playlist. Yes, I have three playlists:

DANCE and UPBEAT (for the previous days before first stage begins, when I need to move more and help baby come down :)


Acapella by Kelis
Hey Hey (Vocal Mix) by Dennis Ferrer

Circus by Britney Spears
Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding
Timbuktu (Pan African Electro Dub Mix) by Dennis Ferrer & Jerome Sydenham

Yummy (feat. Pharrell) by Gwen Stefani
Na Na (The Yummy Song) by Baby Bash
African Lady by Batman featuring Ogabi
Beautiful by Akon

Box N' Locks by Mpho POP Art (Ask Before Pitching)
Celebration by Madonna
Fish Go Deep - The Cure & The Cause (Dennis Ferrer Mix) by Dennis Ferrer
Forever More by Moloko - (Dennis Ferrer Vocal Mix)
Grateful (Df's raze yo handz vox mix) by Dennis Ferrer Feat Kenny Bobien
Celebration by Madonna Feat. Akon
Mama Do (Uh Oh Uh Oh) by Pixie Lott

Oh Africa by Akon Feat. Keri Hilson
She's Like A Star by Taio Cruz
Timbuktu (Pan African Electro Dub Mix) by Dennis Ferrer & Jerome Sydenham

Holiday by Dizzee Rascal
OMG by Usher
Odo by Batman Samini
Together As One by Lucky Dube

LOVE and SPIRITUAL (hope this will help take my mind off contractions as baby moves deeper into the pelvis and down the birth canal. The will help me be mellow :)


Super woman by Alica keys
Like The Sea by Alicia Keys
Hometown Glory by Adele
Wait Til You See My Smile by Alicia Keys
(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman by

I Wanna Love You Forever by Jessica Simpson
If That's What It Takes by Celine Dion
Count On Me by Bruno Mars
Make You Happy by Celine Dion
When You Love Someone by Bryan Adams MTV
Make You Feel My Love by Adele
I Don't Know by Celine Dion
Sweetest Decline by Beth Orton

Saving Grace by The Cranberries
Magic In The Air by Badly Drawn Boy
Your Song by Elton John
Call on Me by Jah Cure
Mama Africa by Akon


You Got Me by The Roots and Erkyah Badu
One Love / People Get Ready by Bob Marley & The Wailers
Orinoco Flow by Enya
Karam by Kimi Djabaté
Kodé by Kimi Djabaté
Ná by Kimi Djabaté
Africa by Habib Koité and Bamada
Can You Feel The Love Tonight by Elton John
C'est la Vie by Henri Dikongué
Din Din Wo (Little Child) by Habib Koité and Bamada
The Shining by Badly Drawn Boy

Aicha by Khaled
You Will Never Walk Alone by Point Of Grace
Yes, I Believe by Point Of Grace

Blue Skies by Point Of Grace
Praise Forevermore by Point Of Grace

SOOTHING and CLASSIC (hopefully at this point I will be breathing baby into the world out of my womb. I want the atmosphere to be magical as much as possible :)


Only Time by Enya
Wild Child by Enya

Teardrop by Massive Attack
Bella's Lullaby by Twilight Soundtrack
Scene. Moderato by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky 11
Waltz Dance of the Swans by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
IV. Allegro moderato by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Spanish Dance by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Meditation by Massenet
Watermark by Enya

21 Oct 2011

Week 35…

Dear AO,

sometimes words cannot describe what I feel when I am surrounded by the beauty of nature.

Last weekend we went to Kananaskis Country, Alberta. This is the beauty one finds there.  lake2While standing in the lake I imagined you playing in the water happy while I photograph you. I want you to be full of laughter. We will go KC often because daddy might have a project which is based in the mountains of Kananaskis Country.

I love the colours of autumn and this year, people say, we are lucky to have the trees still bright in October.week351

This morning I was very tired, I couldn’t wake up. The sun fell on my face at 10:30am so I decided to wake. Coming out of bed was a struggle because there was a pain in my groin. I didn’t want to do anything but then I played the dance playlist I’ve put together for pre-labour contractions.

Before you my all life was acapella! Now a symphony’s the only song to sing…

I moved my hips and legs to the music. It motivated me :). I went to have shower, the water and music did the magic. I even did some laundry.

Sweet baby, this is the last month before I see you in real life. Last night I dreamt of you again and I really can’t wait to see you. You are moving more than ever, I believe you can’t wait to me too. The Braxton Hicks are frequent, and I think I am having mild contractions. This weekend daddy and I will write our birthing wishes.

From next week, to take my mind of the anticipation, I will start washing your romper suits and blankets. I will finish your nursery, although you will not sleep in your crib until you are a little bit older. You will sleep in the bassinet next to our bed. That will keep you close to us and make it easy for me to breastfeed you in the night. week35filmSometimes my belly button goes back in, I have to go on all fours to pop it out. Funny! 

I love you and love you and love you before I even met you,

Mummy!

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19 Oct 2011

GIVE-AWAY: Win a copy of The Magic Warble

When I finished reading The Magic Warble I thought what exciting adventure. Will be fun to see a movie of it! I also thought about giving the book to one of my friends’ daughter who is ten years old and loves reading. Although I am in my 30s, the book took me back in time, into an extraordinary world my young mind used to create to when the bullying of every day school life was too much. PA185404

The story is about twelve-year-old Kristina Kingsly. At school she is bullied by two cousins, Graham and Hester. When Davina, Kristina’s fourteen –year-old sitter, sits her she tries to find something to snitch on Kristina. The only way of escape for Kristina are reading books, drawing and playing with her pet rat, Raymond.

But the last day of school before Christmas holiday break Kristina receives a gift from her favourite teacher. A hatbox in which she finds a tarnished ball. That night the ball magically transports her into the land of Bernovem, a world different from hers. This is a land of dwarfs, gnomes, fairies, talking animals and the wicked Queen Sentiz.

In Bernovem Kristina fits in, she is also the ‘chosen one’, the person who has to save the land from Queen Sentiz, by placing the magical ball, which in Bernovem is known as the Magic Warble, in its final resting place. Kristina has to travel through deep forest, climb snowy mountains, and fight against the queen’s ‘zealocks’ which try to stop her before she reaches her destination. However, to succeed in her mission Kristina is guided by her new fairy friends Clover and Looper, Prince Werrien, a thirteen year-old boy who is the true prince to the throne.  

I don’t want to tell you the whole story, but let me tell you I enjoyed reading The Magic Warble  because it gives the possibility to an ordinary girl to help save a land and give peace and harmony back to its people. I believe one of the messages of the book is to learn to be nice to one another. And also every child is special.

I am very happy to let you know that Victoria has offered to giveaway a signed copy of The Magic Warble to one of my readers living in US! This could be a great Christmas gift for children between ages 9-13. Or you can use it as bed time story for your little ones. The book is 267 pgs long with 1-2 pictures per chapter. I received my free copy with a bookmark and wristband.

HOW TO WIN A FREE COPY?!!!

REQUIRED:

EXTRA ENTRIES:

  • Follow Victoria Simcox on Twitter @VictoriaSimcox and tell me you did so in the comments.
  • Follow me on Twitter @TOItweets
  • Share this blog entry with your Facebook friends and/or retweet it to your Twitter followers and tell me you did in the comments (doing both earns you TWO entries!)

That is it!

You have until Sunday, October 30th to enter. I will draw a winner randomly and announce the results on Monday, 31st October. Just please remember to comment telling me what you did to enter, otherwise I will not be able to count you in.

18 Oct 2011

Two Important Dates In November

Like a kid before Christmas school holidays, my countdown until November begins today. Thinking about it, there have been many important things happen to me in November. For instance last year we went to Paris and then I quit my job and went to Italy for some weeks. But from this year November is going to be extra special for us!

1. the screening of Breaking Dawn Part 1 (18-11-2011)breakingdawn

I want to watch the movie and I am putting it on my twosome dates’ list.

OMG, did you see Jacob, ripping his top off when he receives the letter for Bella’s wedding? {@ 0:40)

Ah the rain, the run and the wolf!

Mmmm, thank goodness he’s of age!jacobOMG, who can resist such fi[c]t-ious body – we all know that is just fantasy right? Let’s enjoy it then :D.

I was talking to one of my friends who is Team Jacob and we both agreed that nobody likes to cuddle a stone like Edward.

I prefer to cuddle a warm wolf!

2. The birth of our baby Berry ^_^ – (21-11-2011)

Berry1stpic

I really hope Berry comes around her due or dream date, because I want a November baby!

1. 30 days to go

2. 34 +/- days to go (the home stretch! and my belly is stretching like a balloon!)

Questions: Which team are you? Edward or Jacob, why? When do you think Berry will pop out?

17 Oct 2011

Last Twosome Dates Anyone?

Hello my lovelies, how was your weekend? My was good!

Today I want to talk about twosome dates

I believe dating as married couples is not very difficult if you can get out of your normal routine and do something together as a couple. Even sitting in front of the telly and cuddling, instead of being adsorbed in your own world, can be a date. But sometimes you need to do something more than that.

The past few months AMI and I have been going on small dates. We have our cinema nights out, our gym/swimming pool weekends out and our breakfast or lunch at Christies, our favourite bakery/cafe shop, once or twice a month.

However, we've started to think about Berry while on these dates. For instance after our last morning date AMI said "I can't wait to bring AO, aka Berry, here for breakfast."

To which comment I replied "You two can go for breakfast and mummy will have her me-time."

After swimming last time we both said how nice it will be to take Berry to the family session of the pool. I daydream about Berry swimming very well.

At our local cinema there is an afternoon dedicated to parents, during the advert I said "We can all come together some afternoons."

As you can read above, we are always thinking about family activities with our sweet Berry.

Though we will try our best to do things as a couple, we have both come to terms with the idea that our life will change, in better but it will CHANGE. We might not have time to go out when it pleases us, and not going on dates as a couple for at least a year is very probable. We might watch a film in the middle of the night while we are trying to sooth baby to sleep, but it will not be just the two of us cuddling in front of the telly.

bearcuddleOne of the pregnancy books I am reading suggests we make time in the evening just to be together as a couple, without talking about pregnancy, neither about parenthood. We try but sometimes it is challenging, especially when baby nudges wanting you to acknowledge that there is little Berry in the belly.

For these reasons, as the days come closer to meeting the precious little human being I am carrying, AMI suggested we do things that we might not be able to do when baby is here. We thought it would be nice to do 10 things before baby is due. But we don't know what to do.

I would like to ask my ladies : what can we do to enjoy our last month and  a bit of just the two of us?

P.S: GIVEAWAY COMING SOON :)!

15 Oct 2011

OFF DUTY

Daddy, Mummy and Berry our taking a break off into the wildness of Canmore, Alberta.450px-Alberta_Highway_16.svg

{via}

Okay, daddy will be working and mummy and Berry will be chilling and reading. Until then I am off duty!p592595-Off_Duty_Yellow_Cab {via}

See you on Monday lovelies!

14 Oct 2011

Week 34 + 5 days = Perfection Is Not All

Dear sweetie,

today I want to tell you about one of my hobbies. I like painting. I started with drawing and now I prefer brushes and canvases. I am not great at it but it is not about perfection when it comes to pursuing your favourite hobby. I don’t intend to make it a career.

I painted something for you. A ballerina standing against a red and dark background. She might not be perfect but she is still full of sunshine and happiness because she did something she likes – dance. And she is proud of that achievement. ballerinaLittle child, life is not about striving for perfection but more about laughter, love and living life to it fullest. Also, the ballerina represents the light in the darkness, I would like you to remember that you are the LIGHT even when you feel like you are surrounded by darkness in this world.week34 I am enjoying the last weeks of you in the belly. You are turning more and I am feeling pregnant, sometimes when you are pressing on certain nerves I find it difficult to walk smoothly. I believe my posture is shifting. I wake up minimum twice a night for the bathroom routine. Wednesday I asked my midwife if she can tell your size. She said you are going to be a good size baby. I don’t know what she means, but the first onesie I bought you is for baby between 5-8 pounds. I was clueless at that point in time, but now I have some baby clothing from 0-3 months, 3-6 months and 6-9 months. And I saw a lovely outfit I just had to buy and keep if for when you are old and walking.

Until the next our little sunshine :).

Always my greatest love,

Mummy TOI.

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P.S: MY LADIES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH  FOR ALL THE BABY ITEMS YOU TOLD ME TO ADD ON THE REGISTRY. I managed to increase the number from 13 to 30 in just a day :)!

13 Oct 2011

Help Us Choose Baby Items

Yesterday when hubby came home from work he said “Today after my meeting with HW (the boss), he said he and his wife went on our baby registry but didn’t find anything they really want to buy us. They want to buy us something more than the little pieces we got there.”

We didn’t want to be greedy and rude by adding items that we think are too expensive, but here we are been asked to add something more than $100. At the moment the following are some of the 13 items I’ve put on the registry registry

{via}

(we also have cloth diaper baby registry for ourselves and our families if they ask us)

We’ve bought most of the items for Berry’s nurserynursery1  I don’t know what we will need.

Also a couple of friends have given us their baby bouncer and 2 car seats (the infant one is the one in the picture, the toddler one is in the basement), because they’ve finished with baby making.seats

another couple lend us their automatic swingswing

and baby bassinet

PA115215-horzall I need to do is to wash them and buy new covers for every item.

I thought about something I would like which will be essential in this city, for when we want to go for walks on rough and snowy terrains.

jeepstroller

{via}

I am sure there are other items I can put on the registry but my mind is closing in for ideas. Monique @ Tipa Tipa told me about diapers.com, a very nice baby registry website, but unfortunately they don’t ship to Canada :(.

So I just have to try hard to add more on the toysrus.ca baby registry. Please ladies help me!

Question: What did/would you put on your baby registry?

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12 Oct 2011

Interviewing a Children’s Writer

Today I am very happy to present you Anna Deskins (AD), a children’s writer. I interviewed her and she was so kind to open up to me. Please read on because she is a true inspiration.

________________________

TOI: Your children's book, The Adventures of Smitty looks magically. Tell us about it.

Smitty-Book-CoverAD: It's the story of a magical island of little creatures called Smilies and the mischievous little main character, Smitty. He's such a naughty boy. Haha!  All the moms and kids I've shared it with have been giving me such a wonderful reaction. I cannot believe it.  I have to tell you how excited I am to finally have a life-long dream come true.

Writing The Adventures of Smitty was really about finding a story that I would want to read to my children at night. It has to be exciting but not scary so that my two daughters can go to sleep.  Basically, I was looking for that perfect blend to read to my kids at night and decided, "Why not try writing my own?"

We've had a lot of changes in our life recently, so I want to make sure that when I put my daughters to sleep they feel safe.  I have short chapters because I know how busy we moms are but if you can just sacrifice 5 minutes at night reading to your kids, it makes a world of difference.  Your kids will never forget it. And although we're running around the whirlwind of life, our kids grow up so fast, and that time that we'd rather finish watching what happened in our favourite soap opera instead of reading to our kids will never come again.  I hope that The Adventures of Smitty and books like it help moms do exactly that.

TOI: Now, you are recently divorced. How have you been able to continue writing when going through such a change?


AD: Yes, it is by far one of the most challenging points in my life. To see a marriage you thought would last forever to not last forever was difficult for the two of us. I really learned a lot about myself and most importantly, it's brought me closer to my daughters.  I think that's what really motivated me to finish this children's book no matter what. When you're going through changes in your life like this, you need something to hold on to. There's a part of you that wants to prove that you can make it, that you will be a success even if it's not with the partner you originally imagined building a life with.  I had to keep writing, for my kids. I want to show them that they have to keep strong, no matter what. annadeskinsWe as women, as moms really need to stick together to support each other and our dreams. We're living in an age when I think we're finally realizing, although we want love, the men in our life aren't the answer to everything. We have to stand up on our own two feet and keep going. True love will happen, but until then, we have to keep moving forward. Our children depend on us and we depend on us.

TOI: In addition to being a children's book author, you're also a small business owner. How do you juggle taking care of two daughters and at the same time running a business?

AD: Yes, I am a fashion designer and have a retail store. Any type of creativity is what I'm passionate about. That's why writing The Adventures of Smitty was so important to me.  Let me tell you, running a small business in today's economy isn't easy especially when raising two girls at the same time. But somehow, it seems someone's watching over me because my dreams are coming true no matter what. To have that many moms glowing about my children's book, means so much to me. And I know my girls are proud.

TOI: When do you ever have time to write?

AD: You mean, in between laundry, running a business, chasing my girls around the house, cleaning the house, and flying back and forth from Miami to New York? Haha? That's one thing I've learned, when you really want to do something, you find a way.  Things fall into place if you just go for it and that's what I want to encourage all the moms who are reading this right now. Whatever your goal is, you can do it. Don't let the challenges in your personal life stop you from going for your dreams.  Just go for it and it's almost magical how things fall into place.

TOI: Where can we get a copy of The Adventures of Smitty?

AD: Right now, it's available online by going to: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/94655 You can also visit my website:http://www.AnnaDeskins.com where you can read more about my writing process, my recommendations for other books and my own adventures in Mommyhood.

I'm so grateful for your support and the support I'm getting from so many wonderful moms who dream of writing children's books one day too.  Writing The Adventures of Smitty has been such an emotional experience for me, a true journey as I was going through so many changes while writing it.  It's truly been a blessing in my life.  It, along with my daughters, and that guy upstairs have really pulled me through a challenging time.

TOI: Thanks for the interview, Anna. You really inspire me.

________________________

My lovely ladies let's go out and support a fellow mom by getting a copy of The Adventures of Smitty today. {It's only 99 cents this week. That's what I love about it}. I know I will get one :)!

10 Oct 2011

Them Children Need Discipline

Have you ever being to a gathering where the children won’t listen to their parents?

Where the children go away with crime because their parents are too scared to discipline them?

Where the children shout at their parents and their parents smile and obey?

Where children see your favourite nail polish and say I want that. And you have to be the witch and say “No, you are not having that!”

Where parents say “At home they are so good but out they are very naughty.” Or parents say “If they can say no to me, maybe they can say no to drug.”

And you think OMG, how are they going to turn out when they turn sixteen – just to say a good number. Once at home {where you behave naughty} you say “Them children need some discipline.”child-discipline {via}

Question: Would you discipline your child in public?

9 Oct 2011

The Harvest

This weekend we enjoyed the clear blue skysky

the crunchy leafs leafs  after church and lunch we harvested our last crop from the garden (potatoes and carrots).

harvest2 harvest1

We are so proud of the harvest in our garden. We can’t wait to repeat all again next year, with what we’ve learnt this year.

Happy Thanks Giving from Canada.

How was your weekend?

7 Oct 2011

Week 33+4days = Like Catching Snow On Our Tongues

Dear little child,
As I promised in my last entry to you, I would like you to know some things about the woman who is carrying you. The woman Almighty chose for you to come to the world through. It happens to some of us to wish to be born in a different family, but we forget that Almighty placed us in that family for some reason. So I believe you are my child, specially sent from above to enrich our lives with your laughter and love, and for us to shower you with our laughter, love and protection. You were desired before God sent you to us.PA065099
Like I believe you are a special gift from God, one day my mother told me how I came into her life. You see I am the last born of my father – who was very old when I was born. I have always thought I am unique, God’s special gift – and I always value myself and never think I am not worth the time people might take to get to know me. My Ghanaian name, O, means Queen of Ofosu, a town in Ghana, but I am not a real princess – my father saw the value I place on myself. I want you to know, always, how valuable you are in this life.
When I give my heart to someone it is difficult to let that person out of my life. I have been lucky to have loving and caring people around me, people who return my affection. Always give help to people without expecting something in return, because is God who gives the best gift.
Sweetest Decline takes me back on the road of Montebello going to Verona, sitting in a Marelli Motori car near your father summer 2001. I never thought then that we would be listening to it on the roads of this city in Canada autumn 2011. That you would be jumping up and down in my tummy as I turn the volume up because I like the song very much – yes, this week you’ve been turning a lot, LOTS!
Since your father played the cd of Beth Orton back in 2001, I’ve always liked this song and some others without knowing the reason – okay, I admit I liked and still like this song because it’s melodic, melancholic and hopelessly romantic like me. But recently, while I was listening to it, after nearly ten years, I paid attention to the lyrics. It taught me another way to interpret regrets. week33
I don’t like to live in regret and so far I don’t regret nothing in my life, because everything that has happened to me has been a lesson which enriches every joy that comes along. But if one should ever regret in life then Orton is right to sing:
What are regrets? – They’re just lessons we haven’t learn yet – It’s like catching snow on your tongue – You can’t pin this butterfly down…
So, little child always live life without regrets but if you ever regret something in life then remember that regrets are things we haven’t learn yet, like catching snow on our tongues.
Forever my love,
mummy TOI.
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