5 Dec 2012

Death and Parenthood

in my teen years i wasn’t scared of death.

in fact, to be honest i thought the world is a better place over the other end... i wanted to leave my boring assistance behind but then i came up with a very naive existential conclusion but it served me well, i CHOSE life.

thanks to that decision my sixteen years old self made, i have my husband, my daughter, a flat in london and experiencing a new lifestyle in canada.

the other day out of the blue i began thinking of death. i don’t want to die because of my daughter. my fear of death is solely an egoistic thinking. nowadays, i prayed god to grant hubby and i longevity.

if i die who would take care of my daughter the way i take care of her? apart from hubby, i can’t imagine anyone loving my daughter as i much as i do. AO2

when i was about three years old my father died. his death left a longing inside. also the absence of my mother {she was already in europe} meant that i was brought up by my grandmother and later my grandaunt. later on someone persuaded my mom to send all her children to live with her aunty {my grandaunt}. bad things happened to all of us. therefore, when i think about death and parenthood i freak out.

one thing we can do as living parents is to pray god to guide us as we contemplate about possible legal guardians for our daughter and future sibling. i want the best for them.

that said, all i pray for is health for both hubby and i until at least we’re in our eighties.    keepcalmandwrite

questions: do you have a legal guardians for your child/children? how did you decide on them?


  1. Before my daughter I really didn't care if I lived or not, or I should say it wasn't a big concern of mine. But now that she is here, I feel like I NEED TO BE HERE, because the thought of someone else mistreating her if I die breaks my heart. I need to be here to defend her (even if she is wrong). I need to be here to protect her.

    And like you said I can't imagine someone loving her more than me.

  2. We actually chose my brother & his wife as legal guardians. We've already talked to them about it and they agree, and we'll be putting it down in our will very soon. We chose them because we have confidence in their ability to raise children & they are younger than us meaning that they will be around longer than say our parents or good friends. Such a difficult decision but one that certainly needs to be talked about!

  3. Jonathon and I have talked about this and can't reach an agreement. He wants her to be go to his parents and I want her to go to mine. Once we finally write our wills we will have to reach a decision. It is not a fun discussion to have and hopefully we live to see our children grow and have their own children.


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