27 Feb 2013

It Doesn’t Matter

NOTE: my daughter was born with a limb difference and I don’t know when she will come to me and say something heart breaking regarding her little hand. I don’t want to wait until then. For this reason, though I never thought about becoming an advocate in spreading awareness about limb difference, I want to make my mission in raising awareness for people with differences: all kind of differences. I prayed for God’s help in finding my purpose in life and I believe He wants me to be an advocate for people who need help to stand up for themselves: bullied children and children with a difference. I didn’t know how to do it but slowly the answer came to me January 2013. Once a month I want to open my blog for posts that share parents thought on how they embrace their difference, how the teach their children to be tolerance towards everyone with a different… etc..

When I was in my teens, I was singled out because I am Ghanaian and Black. It sucks being teased. I love my difference and I hope I will bring my daughter to accept her difference and hopefully in spreading awareness people will learn to accept everyone’s difference.

The post I am about to share is about my thoughts weeks after my daughter was born and we found out for the very first time that she has a limb difference.

I feel vulnerable sharing these thoughts because the words are raw from my diary, but as part of my mantra be bold, fearless etc., I want to keep calm and write what I fear.keepcalmandwrite30-11-2011

I am fascinated by hands, I don’t know if I cared so much as I am these days. Writing, painting, playing the piano, horse riding typing, excising, everything she chooses to do she can do. The sky is her limit for sure.

The importance is for her to understand how clever, wonderful and loved she is. I haven’t written about it because I don’t see it as something that can block her from achieving her dreams. I think about the pain of those who can’t have children or lose their kids, and I am grateful AOI overcame all the obstacles in my womb to come to us.

Not having full hand is not a disability. She is the most beautiful person from inside and outside, healthy, clever, lovely and loved…

[I hope she] Never shies and hides her complete beauty by hoping for sameness. It is so part of her that after a while you don’t notice.

I don’t know if I am making sense, but I want to write my thoughts.

AOI is the most beautiful baby both AMI and I have ever seen – we are not biased, because everyone who sees her say so. 

When she was born and the midwife handed her to me, I noticed my gorgeous little girl. Her deep brown eyes, her little pink lips, her little baby cries, wriggly body and full grown brown hair flat on her forehead for being in the water for nine months. Then I noticed the hand but just for a fraction because she is my breath and she was in my arms after 9 months imagining her and dreaming of her.

She was more beautiful than in my dreams. She is MORE beautiful than a sublime in her name.

No, I don’t see her little hand as a disability that’s why I don’t want people to pity us, because we are so lucky to have her. She is so good to look after. her cries are specific and at only two weeks, she listens to us so well. She moves her head and does the cutest stretches with her limbs.

Her yawn is heart stopping, she makes me wanna be a baby again. She just melts my heart full stop.


Of course sometimes, just for a fraction, I wonder why my beautiful AOI, why she has to be the one to have five fingers.

I know there is a reason for everything but it’s still unclear.

I am going to try my best for her to be clever, compassionate, understanding, loving, beautiful inside and outside. She has it all, two parents that love her more than words can reveal, want the best for her and ready to give up anything for her happiness.

I wrote this poem two days short from her 1st month in our life.it doesn't matter


Every time I watch my wonderful daughter, I realises that her difference makes her more awesome. I LOVE her so much it can break me!




  1. I think it's wonderful that you shared this. It makes me so sad that people are often hated and picked on because of being different. You will build this little girl up and she will know that she is beautiful and special and perfect just the way she is no matter what anyone might think.

  2. She's so beautiful, and I'm sure if anything this will make her a stronger, more accepting individual. With a mama like you, I'm certain she will be able to do anything she wants.

  3. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    I think you are completely right in that God wants you to be an advocate because you understand this first hand.

    AOI is absolutely beautiful and she is blessed to have you as her mother.

  4. I loved this, your writing is so beautiful! AOI is very lucky to have you both as parents, she will know that she will be able to accomplish anything she wants. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Yes, she is a very beautiful girl and she is blessed with parents that love her tremendously!

  6. This is a very bold move, thanks for sharing. You are doing right by her.

  7. You write so well, your emotion are so raw and real. AOI is truly beautiful and you are so right, it does not matter. Thank you for sharing something so private, thank you for sharing.

  8. Like the title of your post, It doesn't matter. We are all different in our special ways. Thank you for sharing! Love the poem, and no doubt, AOI is absolutely georgeous!

  9. This is so beautiful. That's amazing that you found your God-given purpose through your daughter. She is absolutely gorgeous! Thank you so much for sharing. I really like your gentle writing style.

  10. This is so beautiful! Made me teary. You have truly poured out your heart and I know it wasn't easy. Your daughter is PERFECT in every way and I pray that God continues to guide your steps.

  11. AOI is a beautiful child and so very loved and in the end that is all that really matters.

  12. You captured it... her limb difference is most definitely not a disability and it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and yet, as a parent, our hearts still ache for our kids when we consider what the future holds and potential for being singled out because of a difference. She is a gorgeous kid, thank you for bravely sharing your personal thoughts and words!


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