6 Feb 2013

No Colours

Sometimes our daughter exchange our role of parenthood. She calls me daddy and viceversa. I know she knows the difference between mummy and daddy but, maybe, in her own sweet way she wants to tells us that she doesn’t care about colours.
When I met my husband I didn’t worry too much about our different skin colours.
The thought of him not liking me because I am Black never crossed my mind. I lived in a small Italian town and most of the guys didn't want to go out with me because I am Black. However, in few occasions, my past as a bullied girl due to my skin colour made me doubt his love; but he was so patient and always reassured me how much he loves me. He didn’t just used words but he used actions, the latter made my days, weeks, months and years.

I never questioned what other people thought about me dating a White man until I moved to London and some people started to ask me what my family thought about me dating a White man. My family never questioned his race. All they wanted for me was to find a honest, gentle and loving man. But in London, in my new work environment, people started to ask "What your mother said when you took a White man home?..."

Their questions made me wonder if they look at us and ask themselves what we are together for. I consider AMI to be first and foremost my man and my true love. I don’t normally think about his race - does that make me colour blind? I don't think so. I am in love and never felt in love with him because of his skin colour, like some might think...

I could go on and on, but yes thinking about my child growing in this world made me think constantly if the world will still be so race obsessed when our children are old. I am a dreamer and my heart says things will be better (something that the same heart told me 12 year ago before I met my husband and felt in love). I want to teach my daughter to love and cherish people not based on colour but based on their good heart and good nature.
Please share your opinion with me.
xoxo, TOI



  1. Speriamo davvero che le cose migliorino!


  2. Well where I lived growing up, it was pretty diverse. But I would consider the schools that i went to mostly white. I never really thought about race until someone would point out to me that I was black or something to that nature. The next closest thing I came to racism besides being called names as my sister's and I walked home from high school, is my husband's grandmother's bitterness towards me. He's white. She doesn't approve and even though we were in the same room, she still didn't acknowledge me. She doesn't even know me. I've done nothing wrong except being born black. Oh well. Everybody else in the family loves me and my family loves my husband.

    I would like to think that we live in a color blind world but we don't. On another note, my husband nor I married each other because of race. Even though we didn't, I still look at us in amazement! I love that he is mine and I am his. I also love our skin colors side by side.

    Continue to teach your daughter the way you have, to love people based on their character not their color. You'll do well and she will learn and be fine.

  3. I think things will be a lot better for our children's generation. I don't think racism will ever completely disappear (people will always judge things that are different in any way), but I think people will be more open-minded and accepting with every generation.

  4. I grew up in a predominantly caucasian suburb, and was one of few minorities. I tend to second guess if a white guy dates me it is just for the novelty of dating an Asian. Just to be able to say they've dated one.

  5. I hope that things will be better for our children. I don't see color either. I think you fall in love with the person who you love. I could never understand why some are so against interracial dating. To me it's a wonderful thing. It's a normal thing. We're all human beings, after all. Kudos to you for following your heart and marrying the person that was meant for you!

  6. I love this post. I pray our kids grow up to love and embrace others regardless of race or ethnic background.
    Like you, I don't see color when I look at my husband but its amazing how many people ask about how we feel being an interracial couple. I don't think we feel any different from other non-interracial couples.

  7. My son calls me daddy sometimes too! I worry about the race issue as well. YOu know much like you my hubby and I are in an interracial relationship with a biracial child. However, when I actually started to like my husbad way back when we first met- I worried a lot about what other people would think. Nowadays I don't worry about our relationship but I worry about my son. We recently moved froma predominately black area to predominately white. I would like for us to end up in a location that is so culturally diverse. While I do think race will always be of some sort of issue I think our children will have to deal more with sexual preference (and being tolerant of THAT difference) more than racial issues.

  8. I love your words. So real and honest. Bless you and your family.

    I grew up with a "white" uncle that married a black woman and I fell in love with her differences and uniqueness. Awestruck by her beauty and culture. It was so different when I was younger, but now, as my peers and best friends marry and create families there are no differences. My sons best friends are a product of my friends mixed relationships and we have obviously been curious on if our children see "colour" in each other. It is amazing to me, and to my friends, that our children have no idea if one has dark skin or one has light skin. My son knows that his father is European, and that his friends are "from other countries" and it is all the same to him! He wants to travel with his friends and visit "everyones country"!!!!
    i hope this puts your mind at ease. Love has no boundaries and it is obvious that you love your family and your man dearly and that is ALL that matters!!!!

    xo my new friend

  9. I really hope the world is a lil less colorstruck (read: racist) in the future. Raising a biracial son is going to have John and I face a whole mess of additional issues than some of our friends, but we're ready for it.
    We married for love and that's that. I recently wrote about this on my blog and am finally going to be answering some of the questions I receive on our relationship, so I hope you stop by and leave your two cents....or more cents! :)


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