20 May 2013

Week 20 – What Do You Do

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         I feel so lazy today. Also today is Victoria Day and hubby is home from work so AOI is spending all her time with him. She loves to be daddy’s sidekick whenever he is home from work.

This afternoon they are visiting daddy’s work colleague who ‘adopted’ a little dog few weeks ago. I let them go alone because I am catching up with Uomini e Donne, an Italian daytime bachelor show {I am so tempted to call in to register my brother, who is still a bachelor and graduating this year from university}. 

Well, last week apart from going to C’s house for a fun day, week 20 was packed with old same activities {playgroups, swimming pool and afternoon naps}. The weather is tiring me so much. I was so tired on Wednesday that I left a message on my friend’s phone telling her that I was going for a nap {that was the high light of that day. lol, kidding}.

I’ve been feeling so tired, I really need to go to bed early this week.

My weekly update is so short, I want to combine it with #20 of Blog Every Day In May’s prompt:

Get real. Share Something You're Struggling With Right Now

My major struggle is defining my work.

Last Monday at the playdate a lady asked me “What do you do?”

“I am home with my daughter and… ehm… I am writing a novel.” {which by the way is completed but still in the phase of professional editing so for me is not 100% complete until is in the publishing world} of course I didn’t go to that extent to explain myself. In my turn I asked her “And you, what do you do?”

“I am a journalist, so I work from home. Being a journalist is great because I can work anywhere I want and have my son at home with me.”

There, simply said. “I am a journalist… and my son can be at home with me.” At that straight forward answer thousand thoughts flown through my mind do you just write a blog or you write for the local newspaper or do you write and pitch everywhere  

Why do I struggle so much telling people outside the internet that I am a writer? I think I can’t answer because I don’t get paid from writing.

Then last Thursday, at my writer’s group, I voiced this struggle. One of the ladies I admire so much hosted a mini therapy session for me. Her first answer was

“So what do you do?”

“I am a stay at home mother, writing a novel.”

“I am a mother but being a mother is not my work. I am a writer and you are a writer.”

“But I am not getting paid to write.”

“And you are not getting paid to be a mother.”

“I don’t see motherhood as my work, but I am home so I find it difficult to say that I am a writer.”

“What makes a person a writer?”

“Be published and getting a paid to write?”

“So, you define work by a wage.” soon after she carried on “I am a writer but I don’t get paid. But I write every day. You have to remember that though you don’t get money by writing now, one day this writing you are doing will pay you. But until then you are a writer without a wage.”

This struggle is still palpable and added to the overwhelming self doubt everything can be a mountain of a struggle. But through all that I have to constantly remind myself that I am a writer and photographer whose work is in the formation stage and, though I don’t get paid, I enjoy doing what I do and one day I will pick the fruit from the seeds I’ve being planting since forever.

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This May challenge is a struggle within itself because it’s challenging me to face the things that I am so afraid to voice out on regular basis. I feel so emotional right now.

5 comments:

  1. I don't think you have to get paid to write in order to call yourself a writer. I am a writer too and publish regularly to two separate blogs. True I don't get paid for what I write, but the online friendships I have made throughout the years from my blogs are a much greater reward than any dollar amount.

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  2. you are definitely a writer. The way you command the language and give meaning to your words definitely confer you that right. Call yourself a writer, you've earned it.

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  3. You are absolutely a writer Toi and I understand your struggle with putting a proper label on things. It sound like you have a supportive writers group around you too. xx

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  4. You are such amazing writer and all of readers enjoy your words. I have started writing as an article writer but they are not paying me as they think I can be something junior. Getting paid is definitely not a thing that makes someone a writer. It's creativity that lives inside.
    Cheers :)

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  5. I can relate. I've always wanted to call myself a writer but don't feel like I've earned that title

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