31 May 2013

In Black Mourning

Today is the last day of Blog Every Day in May. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I am glad that, though on some days throughout this challenge I’ve been on the edge of quitting, I managed to push through until today #31. I am also sad because it’s over today. It was the first time I talked a lot about personal aspects of my past. This challenged forced me to dig deep into my deepest thoughts and share them, breaking few bricks of the fear that blocks me from sharing some part of my past life. Today is over with the prompt

 A Vivid Memory

bongo drums played during Ashanti funeral in kumasi

{via}

In my very first post of Blog Every Day in May I mentioned that a vivid memory I have of my life is the funeral of my father.

All around people came and went dressed in black mourning. I played around the crowd and then, while nobody was paying too much attention to me, I climbed onto the bed placed in the courtyard where my father lied. I went close to his face, it was cold but I didn’t pay attention to that because I wasn’t aware that icy cold people under tropical heat meant death. I was about three years old. At one point, one of my eldest sisters noticed where I was, she came to pick me up, held me tight and cried louder. I was oblivious to the event, all I wanted was to wake my daddy from the deep slumber.

Years later, people told me that because I was the youngest of his children, while everyone was out in school or cooking, I spent most of my afternoons playing with stones while my father read on the porch. Now, the only images I have of my father are faded sepia pictures.

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30 May 2013

Letting Go…

#30 of Blog Every Day in May is another difficult one. We have to
React To This Term: Letting Go
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. – Tao Te Ching
I remember writing what I wanted to let go as we entered into 2011. I cut the paper into tiny pieces and as the clock chimed midnight I let into the wind all I let go. Here I am close to the middle of 2013 and on my blog I let out what I want to let go.
Emotionally I let go sadness, fear, self doubt, bad feelings, insecurities, regret, anger, anxiety, jealousy, negativity and procrastination. In the material sense of letting go I want to let go my old clothes that I don’t wear but hope to pass them to my daughter – I will keep those I really love and feel they are unique pieces. I let go money, because money is not everything in this life instead I will nurture my passion and love for whatever I do.
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I want do two post in one 1projectmilfbadge2013

Week 17 of #ProjectMilf is all about playing a fun game If I Could Visit Anywhere in the World… and finish the statement… feel free to add pictures.
Next month I am going to Europe and I am super excited about that but another place that I would like to visit if I could… is Hawaii. It’s one of my dream destinations, I don’t even know when that dream began.
Now the general update of Week 16
FITNESS/HEALTH
I walked as much as I could and slept more. I went to bed the same time as AOI.
FUND RAISING
NOTHING TO REPORT
NOVEL
NOTHING TO REPORT 
My week 16 of #ProjectMilf is short. Doing the monthly update sounds great. Hope you have a great week.
Thanks for reading,
xoxo TOI










29 May 2013

Music, My Teacher My Fortress

#29 of Blog Every Day in May is share:

Five Songs or Pieces of Music That Speak to You or Bring Back Memories

This is another personal prompt for me because music, just like my writing, is my refuge. Music has taught me, music is my fortress when I need a place to find my peace of mind. I love all kind of music genre but I cherish music that has a narrative.

Bob Marley, the legend, the unique master of Reggae. I love the fact that his music is full of light and meaningful message.

One Love by Bob Marley on Grooveshark

One Love. I remember this song and I think I was about 8 years old when I first heard it. I wanted to marry the little boy in the video. ha ha. I wasn’t interested in the message until later years. Now these lines are the same I repeat as I go by my days

“Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One love)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (One heart)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own?”

No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley & The Wailers on Grooveshark

No Woman No Cry. I love this music in it entirety. Who doesn’t love this song. And who doesn’t love a man who gets a woman? Just shake to the beat.

Say, say, said I remember when we used to sit
In a government yard in Trenchtown
Obba, obba, serving the hypocrites
As the would mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we've lost
Along the way
In this great future,
You can't forget your past
So dry your tears, I say
No woman no cry, no woman no cry
Little darling, don't she'd no tears, no woman no cry
Say, say, said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire light
As it was, love would burn on through the night
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge
Of which I'll share with you
My fear is my only courage
So I've got to push on thru
Oh, while I'm gone

Buffalo Soldier by Bob Marley & The Wailers on Grooveshark

Buffalo Soldier. Before I studied African History, this song taught me:

“How the dreadlock rasta was the buffalo soldier,
And he was taken from africa, brought to america,
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival.
Said he was a buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta -
Buffalo soldier in the heart of america.
If you know your history,
Then you would know where you coming from,
Then you wouldn't have to ask me,
Who the 'eck do I think I am.
I'm just a buffalo soldier in the heart of america,
Stolen from africa, brought to america,
Said he was fighting on arrival, fighting for survival;
Said he was a buffalo soldier win the war for america.

Three Little Birds by Bob Marley & The Wailers on Grooveshark

Three Little Birds. I remember driving to Blaine lake, few months before I gave birth, when this song was playing AMI and I started talking about our worries as future parents. AMI rewind this song and told me “We will make her listen to Bob Marley if she needs some answers.”

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

Lucky Dube was not just a musician but a true storyteller – I am so sad he was brutally murdered in 2007. He was my very first teacher in the history of South Africa. As a little girl I remember watching the black and white images of people crying and dying on the dirty ground but I didn’t know about the story behind. It was just later years, when I turned about thirteen and found the Reggae music that I started to learn the history of brutality towards humankind. His music is history and political in verse.

House Of Exile by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

House od Exile. I love the soft beat of this music. Whenever I hear the message in this song I go back to my thirteen years old self in my mom’s room kneeled on her bed crying, out of sight, for those who suffered in the Apartheid and now I cry for those you are still fighting for their rights as human beings. I love these lines, such power images

“Sun went down on the mountain
Birds flew back to their hiding places
Leaving him standing there like a telephone pole
In the still of the night
You and I dream
Dreaming of Romeo & Juliet
All he dreams about is the freedom of the nation
When every man will be equal In the eyes of the law”

It's Not Easy by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

It’s Not Easy. This song touches my soul because, though I’ve never being through such situation, it teaches me to be humble and love my husband as the first day we met. To respect him and cherish him without ever breaking his heart and I pray he return all the above.

The song tells me how divorce sucks.

Victims by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

Victims. This is another powerful song that tells the story of how Apartheid reduced its victims to become perpetrators themselves. These lines captures “the bitterness of a nation at war with itself”

Bob Marley said
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look
But little did he know that
Eventually the enemy
Will stand aside and look
While we slash and kill
Our own brothers
Knowing that already
They are the victims of the situation

Still licking wounds from brutality
Still licking wounds from humiliation
She said all these words and the
Wrinkles on her face became
Perfect trails for the tears and she said;
Chorus: (x3)
We are the victims everytime
We got double trouble everytime

Steel Bars by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

Prisoner by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

Steel Bars and Prisoner. I always listen those two songs together.

“I'm a prisoner, I'm a prisoner, I'm a prisoner
Dear lord

I asked the policeman and said
How much must I pay for my freedom?
He said to me, son
They won't build no schools anymore
They won't build no hospitals [x2]
All they'll build will be prison, prison [x4]

the above lines capture how an institution can reduce its people to nothing 

Remember Me by Lucky Dube on Grooveshark

Remember Me. This story is a little bit like the story of my life. However, my father didn’t leave for the city, it was my mother who left to go to abroad and though as a young girl I blamed her for the death of my father I know that my daddy died due to his own health conditions. In later years, when I moved to live with her in Italy, her partner was cruel to us. And I always prayed that my daddy will remember us. This was my message I cried to him

“Daddy where ever you are remember me
In what ever you do I love you
Daddy where ever you are remember me
In what ever you do I love you”

I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner on Grooveshark

I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner. This is what I sung by the corner in the flat in Via Cappuccini, I put the song on the repeat and cry questioning the love of a father who was no longer there. Though he was dead, I knew he could show me the fatherly love I so needed through his spirit. In those delicate moments I could feel his presence, I would hug my shoulders and feel the embrace. He his my guardian angel, and I still feel his love.

After a heavy load of music and recalling of many sad moments, I want to share couple of my many favourite songs by Bryan Adams.

Black Pearl by Bryan Adams on Grooveshark

How I wish Bryan Adams wrote this song for me. But he didn’t because my mother had me when she was 27 years in Ghana not at 17 years in Mississippi. But no matter that, I feel like a Black Pearl.

Heaven by Bryan Adams on Grooveshark

My wedding song, do I need to say more.

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I can’t believe my love story with Bryan Adams never picked off. Well. our children will become play mates one day.

28 May 2013

Only Pictures

#28 Blog Every Day in May is to share:

Only Pictures

That’s very easy, right? I want to share 10 of my favourite photos I’ve shared on this blog in the past

AOIfirststand

mummyloveyou

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dream

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amoredimammapapa

firstsmashcake

polenta

snowwonderland

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it wasn’t an easy task narrowing the pictures to only my favourite 10 but I want to stick to that number. Also I realise that I am getting better as taking photos and editing them. I am proud of myself

27 May 2013

Week 21: Surprises

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         This week AOI did few things that really surprised me.

Tuesday, just as we are getting ready for the French playgroup, she climbed to sit in the stroller by herself when she was ready to go. I didn’t have to tell her to sit in there but moreover we didn’t have to play the usual dodge mummy/catch toddler game. She took her teddy bear and happily waited few seconds before I put my trainers on.

And for the rest of the week when she wanted to go out she would just get ready herself {wearing her rain boots} and climb into the stroller then tell me “Outside”

Also this week she didn’t nap in the afternoon couple of days and I was surprised she managed to go through the day without her naps. Not napping in the afternoon was good for when it was time to sleep in the evening but it was not great for me because I couldn’t do much in the day. And in the evening I collapse at the same time as her bedtime.

The biggest surprise was AOI saying “Damn it.” few hours after her daddy has used that expression because he couldn’t turn on the outside pipe.

When we heard her say that with a smile we looked at each eyes wide open. Did we hear right? our eyes questioned. Well we didn’t have to doubt that she was saying that words because she repeated it again couple of times.

“You better be extra careful what you say around her because she is like a sponge, she absorbs words even when you think she is not listening.” I whispered to AMI.

She doesn’t say that word very often but I know it’s part of her vocabulary now, because she is storing words and phrases. Sometimes she says words both in Italian and English which I don’t remember teaching her – I hope not hearing her daddy say that word again will fade from her mind. So I concluded that anything I say she might not repeat it right then but she will repeat it when I least expect her to.

AOI

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Oh, I tried this yummy enchiladas recipe Emily share on her blog. It’s easy to to follow.

The Beetle Shack
  • Where is AOI among her stuffy friends
  • Enjoying the May spring weather in the garden

Enjoy week 22

Dear Readers

#27 of Blog Every Day in May is to write:

A Letter To Your Readers OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Dear Readers,

First of all I want to thanks everyone, both my old and new readers. You all are the dear friends that I am glad to have around the world. Thank you for your time and patience in reading all my blog entries. I love your words of encouragement, your words of comfort and words of joy. I love reading what you share on your blogs because they inspire me {even when you feel like your life is not worth sharing, believe me, it is inspiring one person out there}, especially thanks to this Blog Every Day in May challenge which helped me get to know some of you even better.

When I started my blogging journey and before I found this awesome blog community, people thought blogging was just an indulgence. I hope the same people could blog and get the good things that blogging has to offer. Sometimes life can get busy and blogging becomes a hard work but those who see the therapeutic and supportive side of the blogging community are able to return fuelled with passion and desire to share even more so thank you for sticking around.

I believe sharing is a great learning process. Our life experiences can inspire others and if in my life I can inspire at least one person, I would say it was thank to my readers because you believe in me when I feel like giving up and I can’t tell anyone. I know blogging has some dark side as well, I am lucky to be among the most awesome blog community in which we repudiate cyber-bullying and we promote cyber-inspiring. It saddens me when one of my favourite blogger has to say goodbye to blogging because life gets very busy and blogging is being a bad supporter.

I wouldn’t be here writing this letter without my READERS! Every comment you leave on this space fills my heart with happiness. Each comment makes me aware that I am doing something right and I am not alone {I want to name so many of you but I am afraid I will forget some others so please please know that I am talking to you and you and you}. I love the interaction we are creating {to be able to get a reply to your wonderful comments please check out this quick tutorial}

I will never stop to thank everyone enough for stopping by my humble blog and taking the time to read and write those wonderful comments, I really appreciate it.

All my gratitude,

TOI

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26 May 2013

I Read Online

#26 of Blog Every Day In May is to share:

Something You Read Online. Leave a link and discuss

Caitlin is a beautiful 20-something girl who “… loves to shop, drinks way too much coffee, plays guitar, and takes frequent trips to New York City. Oh, and I have one arm.”

I read this awesome post about the Common Reaction to my Limb Difference and I’m Thinking (in gifs). She points out the in Gifs the responses she gives to the observations people who make regarding her limb difference.

I hope one day AOI will be able to handle in such humorous way the observations regarding her limb difference like Caitlin. I also hope Caitlin will always write her blog or books even when AOI is in her teens and she would like to read blogs and in search of good role model {I believe she can tell she is going to be a great writer}

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25 May 2013

People Respect and Admire You

#25 of Blog Every Day in May is to share

Something Someone Told You About Yourself That You'll Never Forget

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         One of the things I am proud to have is my good memory, especially for past events  {and I pray to have it for a long time}. I have a good archive of all the worse things people have said to me in the course of my young life. However, for this prompt I want to share how one day talking to my mother she said:

“You can’t even imagine how many people respect and admire you, here in town.”

That’s a phrase I remember because for as long as I know I’ve always questioned my worth in this life. I never saw my value on earth. Also, my fears has always induced me to be a good girl and though I’ve always tried to rebel, my rebellion has never being outside the four walls of my bedroom. And even when I disobeyed my mother about my curfew, I would come home one or two hours later feeling so guilty I would be extra good for the next couple of weeks.

And as a classic good girl, I got married before I moved out of my mother’s home to go live in my husband’s home. I guess many people respect and admire the way my life has evolved and is still evolving.

I must admit, I am glad and proud about the way my life is evolving.

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Has anyone said something to you that you’ll never forget?

24 May 2013

My 3 Not So Nice Traits

So for #24 of Blog Every Day In May is to share:

Your top 3 worst traits

Messy= I try my best as I can, but my mother told me I was messy so I am still messy. When I lived at home with her I kept my bedroom tidy and the house spotless every weekend. The only thing I wouldn’t tidy up were my books – they just spread out even when I don’t want them to. As a married woman and mother of a toddler, I am messy because sometimes I’m just too tired or busy with other important things to clean up. Also I hope to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes so I keep them for too long and they take space. But when I clean up everything looks like a photo from a glossy magazine {or nearly} and I get upset if it’s not kept in that way by my loved ones.tidy1P3021156tidy2tidy3

Never on Time= 80% of the time I am late for appointments. I am a believer of the fashionable late motto. I don’t like to be too early because I look awkward when I am waiting and I don’t have anything to read or do. The other day AMI said “I believe you will be late even for your own funeral.” Of course I laughed because I would like to be very late for my own funeral {hopefully I will be parting somewhere else}.

Touchy= I write this because my younger brother tells me so. I can explain. I don’t like rudeness or rude jokes. He knows this and that’s the first thing he does to annoy me. So I get offended by this very easily. Also my girlfriends used to affectionately call me “stupidina” {silly little girl}, I hated it. Not to stereotype but, I once read an article in which a Ghanaian singer says that Ghanaian people can be very touchy when it comes to certain words. For instance the word silly is offensive to me because it derives from stupid so if someone tells me silly even if they are joking I become a little touchy.

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What are your top 3 worst traits?

23 May 2013

Project Milf Week 16 + Wisdoms School Won’t Teach You…

Today I am combing Project Milf and Blog Everyday In May in one post. But before I start, I want to give an update to week 15 of Project Milf

FITNESS/HEALTH

I am doing more yoga and sleeping at decent hours. I am really going downhill regarding eating healthy. I need to do more smoothies filled with veggies. 

FUND RAISING

Nothing to report this week {getting bored about that}

NOVEL

I have to send it to the professional editor. In the meanwhile, yesterday I sat in front of the computer and just wrote the flashed of episodes from my past {I sound so old, not ‘just’ thirty}.

1projectmilfbadge2013

So Week 16 Project Milf prompt is If you could spend one hour with anyone, past or present, who would it be and why?

I didn’t have to think twice about this person. I miss him so much and it sadness me that I didn’t know him enough. So, I would spend that one-precious-hour with my late father. He passed away when I was about two and the first memory I have of him is me trying to wake him up at his funeral. He is far memory for me. In that hour, I would like to talk to him about life and learn a little from his wisdom, something school wouldn’t teach me.AOI in the puddle quotes

Now unto #23 of Blog Every Day In May which is to share

Things You've Learned That School Won't Teach You

that you are perfect the way you are

that loving as if there is no tomorrow is just right

that patience is the key to happiness

that success is not always rewarded with money but with cuddles and smiles

how to travel around the world and how to live life to its fullest

how beautiful and miraculous is our everyday life

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22 May 2013

The Rant…

# 22 of Blog Everyday In May is to

Rant About Something. {Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel} CIMG8781

The news, I can’t stand the news anymore,

not its fault but,

whenever it manages to reach me,

it weakens me to a fearful state about this world.

it pushes me to into hiding in the bubble even more

Natural disasters at the tick of the clock.

Kidnappers, bombers, murderers left and right

Mad people harming innocent people.

I had enough of all this atrocities in the world.

HARD really enough and I don’t know how we can stop that. 

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21 May 2013

Past Favourite Posts

#21 of Blog Every Day in May is to sharing:

A list of links to your favourite posts in your archivesCIMG7480

{the only thing the above picture has in common with this post is that they are both part of my favourite posts}

When I saw this prompt I thought, awww, this is nice, something light. Also I’ve been meaning to do a page on my blog linked to my favourite posts but procrastinator is my middle name, so I haven’t done it. So what a great moment to list just few of my favourite posts. Most of these posts are pour my hear out posts. I let out my worries and past experiences. They make me vulnerable yet strong because every time I open up about my inner thoughts I feel a little bit stronger like a free bird

Home Goddess or Feminist Thinker This is the carefree me, I share my contracting nature

The Baby is Due In… before I retitled my blog Life of TOI, I was known as The Baby Plan because I started this blog to be able to de-stress while I was trying to conceive. Many followed my journey and I was happy to announce to my online friends. I announced it on 1st April and many thought I was playing an April Fool. I was really pregnant and waiting to give birth in November.

AOI’s Birth Story: Breathing Baby into the World After nine months pregnant I gave birth and in this post I share my experience. A cherished post.

Boxing You In when I was expecting I shared my worries and fears about having society force my daughter into a box because she is a person with diverse cultural background.

Just In Case the first time I opened up about AOI having a limb difference.

One Year Ago Tonight Recalling the birth of AOI

Life in Colour I just realised that I wrote this post exactly 2 years before my daughter was born and I talk about race and relationship.

Word{s} They Called My Skin this post shares how some of the bullies at my schools called my skin

It Doesn’t Matter another very personal entry. It comes from my journal twelve days after my daughter was born. In this post I just pour my heart out

Biracial Not Black or White In this post I sharing a documentary about how some biracial people see themselves

AOI’s Nursery Reveal among some of my favourite posts, this is one of the lightest and loving post I’ve shared on this blog of mine

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sorry if they are heavy, but I love these post because they are personal and close to my heart.

20 May 2013

Week 20 – What Do You Do

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA         I feel so lazy today. Also today is Victoria Day and hubby is home from work so AOI is spending all her time with him. She loves to be daddy’s sidekick whenever he is home from work.

This afternoon they are visiting daddy’s work colleague who ‘adopted’ a little dog few weeks ago. I let them go alone because I am catching up with Uomini e Donne, an Italian daytime bachelor show {I am so tempted to call in to register my brother, who is still a bachelor and graduating this year from university}. 

Well, last week apart from going to C’s house for a fun day, week 20 was packed with old same activities {playgroups, swimming pool and afternoon naps}. The weather is tiring me so much. I was so tired on Wednesday that I left a message on my friend’s phone telling her that I was going for a nap {that was the high light of that day. lol, kidding}.

I’ve been feeling so tired, I really need to go to bed early this week.

My weekly update is so short, I want to combine it with #20 of Blog Every Day In May’s prompt:

Get real. Share Something You're Struggling With Right Now

My major struggle is defining my work.

Last Monday at the playdate a lady asked me “What do you do?”

“I am home with my daughter and… ehm… I am writing a novel.” {which by the way is completed but still in the phase of professional editing so for me is not 100% complete until is in the publishing world} of course I didn’t go to that extent to explain myself. In my turn I asked her “And you, what do you do?”

“I am a journalist, so I work from home. Being a journalist is great because I can work anywhere I want and have my son at home with me.”

There, simply said. “I am a journalist… and my son can be at home with me.” At that straight forward answer thousand thoughts flown through my mind do you just write a blog or you write for the local newspaper or do you write and pitch everywhere  

Why do I struggle so much telling people outside the internet that I am a writer? I think I can’t answer because I don’t get paid from writing.

Then last Thursday, at my writer’s group, I voiced this struggle. One of the ladies I admire so much hosted a mini therapy session for me. Her first answer was

“So what do you do?”

“I am a stay at home mother, writing a novel.”

“I am a mother but being a mother is not my work. I am a writer and you are a writer.”

“But I am not getting paid to write.”

“And you are not getting paid to be a mother.”

“I don’t see motherhood as my work, but I am home so I find it difficult to say that I am a writer.”

“What makes a person a writer?”

“Be published and getting a paid to write?”

“So, you define work by a wage.” soon after she carried on “I am a writer but I don’t get paid. But I write every day. You have to remember that though you don’t get money by writing now, one day this writing you are doing will pay you. But until then you are a writer without a wage.”

This struggle is still palpable and added to the overwhelming self doubt everything can be a mountain of a struggle. But through all that I have to constantly remind myself that I am a writer and photographer whose work is in the formation stage and, though I don’t get paid, I enjoy doing what I do and one day I will pick the fruit from the seeds I’ve being planting since forever.

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This May challenge is a struggle within itself because it’s challenging me to face the things that I am so afraid to voice out on regular basis. I feel so emotional right now.

19 May 2013

Favourite Blogs

#19 of Blog Every Day in May is to share

Five of your favourite blogs and what you love about them.

I really feel bad choosing only three blogs as my favourite because the prompt requests 5 blog and though there more blogs I love, today is one of those days that little girl wants more cuddles.

I choose these blogs because I've been reading most of them for so long I don't remember when my infatuation began. Other blogs I've following for some months but i can't stop going to their online home for some more. I love both old and new blogs for the content and post regularly.

 

BABY MAKIN’ MACHINE

babymakinmachine

This is the first blog I followed when I began my journey towards TTC. I don’t always leave a comment on her posts but I like interacting with Jenn via Google Chat and twitter. She is has a great determination and passionate. Her photo projects are so inspirational

 

ENJOYING THE SMALL THINGS

website

I love the way Kelle manages to capture the beauty and joys in her every day life. She doesn’t try to pretty up things but though everything is not always as she might have wished them to be she cherishes what she has. Her photography tells 1000 stories.


TIPA TIPA

ClaudeMoniquePortrait
When I found Monique, the author behind this blog, I felt as if I’ve found the best friend I always wanted to have. I simply love her and she is one of the bloggers I can say we have lot in common. She likes dark comedy, quirky music, literature, art and vintage fashion (she wears it so well). I want to be her friend also offline friend

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Forgive me if I didn’t mention some blogs but I have to be selective

18 May 2013

Letter to AOI #5: Hymn of the Big Wheel by Massive Attack

Sweetie, cheeky AOI,

I love you so much. You are the cutest and today you turn 18 months. I just can’t believe it, just 18 months ago you were debuting into the world on the notes of Teardrop, another song by Massive Attack. You are growing so fast, fast like my heart beat. And as your personality shines, I can tell you are little girl with determination, you are thoughtful and helpful {when you are not sleepy}. You love babies and you are not jealous to see me with another baby. You don’t mind sharing your toys but not all of them.

I enjoy watching you play with your stuffy toys. You wrap them in clothes on your shoulders, or you pretend giving them water and food to taste. After you’ve fed them you reassure yourself that it was good and nice. You are such a cute comedian, I love your grin.

Few weeks ago daddy played Hymn to the Big Wheel during your bedtime routine. Since then whenever you remember you ask for “Wheel”. When the music begins you stop for a second then sway to the beat. When I observe your face expression I wonder how much you understand and how you are going to remember that you used to listen to such a beautiful music, which I believe speaks about the harm of global warming. I am writing this letter, quoting the song in the hope that one day it will inspire you.

AOI the wheel quote

Hymn of the Big Wheel by Massive Attack on Grooveshark

[Horace Andy]
The big wheel keeps on turning// On a simple line day by day// The earth spins on its axis//
One man struggle while another relaxes// There's a hole in my soul like a cavity//
Seems like the world is out to gather just by gravity// The wheel keeps turning the sky's rearranging
Look my son the weather is changing// I'd like to feel that you could be free
Look up at the blue skies beneath a new tree// Sometime again
You'll turn green and the sea turns red// My son I said the power of axis over my head
The big wheel keeps on turning// On a simple line day by day//
The earth spins on its axis// One man struggle while another relaxes//
We sang about the sun and danced among the trees//
And we listened to the whisper of the city on the breeze// Will you cry in the most in a lead-free zone
Down within the shadows where the factories drone//
On the surface of the wheel they build another town// And so the green come tumbling down
Yes close your eyes and hold me tight// And I'll show you sunset sometime again
The big wheel keeps on turning// On a simple line day by day
The earth spins on its axis// One man struggle while another relaxes
As a child's silent prayer my hope hides in disguise//
While satellites and cameras watch from the skies// An acid drop of rain recycled from the sea
It washed away my shadow burnt a hole in me// And all the king's men cannot put it back again
But the ghetto sun will nurture life// And mend my soul sometime again
The big wheel keeps on turning// On a simple line day by day// The earth spins on its axis
One man struggle while another relaxes

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Always know who you and cherish it,

Loves,

Mummy.

A Sense of Freedom

#18 of Blog Every Day In May is to:

Tell a Story From Your Childhood

Flashes of anecdotes from my childhood keep surfacing on my mind, yet I am tongue tight right now. Which story to tell. Suddenly I don’t know the definition of story.

What is a story?

As a writer I am supposed to know right? Wrong, I am not getting anything right so I googled the definition and I found these two definitions I like

“story” simply as a narrative sequence of events. First, something happens, and that led to something else, and that led to something else.

“Storytelling” is the mindful sharing of experience and imagination in a narrative form. {via}

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“Ofosuhimaaaa!!! Ofosuhimaaaa!!! Come right here. You are going to have bronchitis.” my grandmother shouted below the street one rainy day. Being the wild child I was, I didn’t listen.

Running was my forte, I ran when it was windy, I ran when it was calm but more than ever I love running on rainy days. The street might remember the sole of my wet feet slap on it back.street

So, on that particular rainy day, I ran down the fine pebble paved street. My giggles in the air. Only in my underwear, bare feet. The street was my oyster.

I ran as the drops dribbled through my curls, into my eyes and down my face. It cooled my body. I ran many times on that street, but run when it was not raining but I love the rain the best. I felt free and close to God’s tears. I was told that thunders happen when God is cross and it rains when He is sad.

But I felt a sense of freedom, mindless about the late eighties atrocities in foreign lands.

I was ill the following day but my grandmother prepared my favourite pepper spinach soup, and nothing mattered. I still had enough voice to comfort the little boy crying from the other house

“Fifi, don’t cry, I will marry you.” to which my grandmother and great-grandmother would burst laughing.

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