27 Jan 2014

Our Everyday Life: It’s Dark, It’s Scary

dark

Week 4 of 2014 was the week of AOI’s show – her fear of the dark began. Mood swings sometimes jolly mood, giggles, smiley face {that face that makes you want to cuddle her tight and give her million kisses}, noisy playtime with the plastic farm animals and elefante {which sometimes becomes a baby elephant with a diaper, couple donated by Mr T.} going for walks in its purple pram.

Other times meltdowns, unnecessary cries, diva attitude {pushing her food aside and saying I don’t want it}, moments that made the parent wants to cry too.

Out of the blue our toddler is scared of the dark. A milestone right? She told us one morning as we encouraged her to go turn the light on in her bedroom, something she always loved doing. This particular morning she stood in our bedroom door way and said “It’s dark, it’s scary.”

Before that she woke up and instead of walking into our room she stayed in her bed and in sleepy voice she called out “Mummy, mummy” – these days she wants me to go pick her up from her bed, one morning she woke up around 4:20 calling for daddy, he went to sooth her back to sleep.

AMI started to settle into the new life as stay at home parent and we’re learning to share duties – meaning taking turns in taking care of AOI. He was tired due to the early wake but he took AOI to French playgroup for the first time. I used to go out with AOI in this familiar playgroups without diaper but she is not anymore because daddy is not ready to do the out of home potty training. Also AOI is not ready to do number 2 in the potty, I’m not pressuring her. We’ll get there this summer.

I finished feeding Mr T. around 5:30 and I went back to sleep before six. We all woke up at 7:30 when AOI woke up. We had a relatively a good day. After snack I told her AOI she can take king elephant for a walk. She went to Mr T., I overheard her saying something about a pram. So I asked “Do you want brother to go in the pram?”

“No! I’m going to sleep in it.” she definitely knows that going for walks in her pram means going to sleep. She’s having her naps and that helps her stay in a good mood during the afternoon.

AOI mummy

she’s getting so quirky with her fashion sense – red doctor’s spex, her own decision to wear them

In the afternoon I convinced her to go out for a sled ride with me; I needed to spend some time alone doing some kind of activity with. I really miss taking her to playgroups and exclusively being there for her. On our way back she said she wanted to see RN. At one point she said “Take me to RN he will keep me warm.” Yes, she really talks like that word for word. My mouth was wide open, she remembers our friends from Israel and she’s always asking after RN.

We also realised that it’s becoming increasingly necessary to talk to her like a little adult because she listens and understands what we say.

For instance Thursday afternoon, AOI was throwing herself on the floor and when she sat down for lunch she pushed her plate aside and refused to eat. Daddy took her from the chair and said he wanted to talk to her. She didn’t complain. I observed as they sat in the red armchair and daddy gave a name to her feelings: frustration. So daddy told her about how the cloud comes out sometimes to take away your happy mood and all you need is call back the sun. They did a quick clear my mood therapy – go away cloud, come back sun. After few chants daddy asked her “Are you feeling better now?” “Yes” she answered. When she got off the chair she reassured herself by saying “I feel better, yes.” The rest of the week she was in mood great mood. She had lunch and, later she had dinner without making a scene and bedtime routine was easy too. Nowadays, daddy starts the routine and then I go sit with her for thirty minutes within which time frame she falls asleep.

The monster of the terrible two overtook my daughter the following night during bedtime. AOI didn’t want daddy to do the night routine. She cried for me and only me. In the end I went into her room and had Tobias in my arms feeding. She stood by the chair and wanted me to tell her stories about her farm animals. I was brisk in telling the stories – two or three sentences stories – I wanted to get over with. I was feeling tired. After she had brought me all her animals I sent her to bed and covered her with the blanket and kissed her on the forehead. I sat back in the chair still feeding Tobias and by half past eight she was asleep.

I concluded that I shouldn’t be a superwoman, and make guilt tell me that my daughter will think I don’t care about her when she cries for me and I don’t go because I need to take a moment to rest. I should accept AMI’s help when he wants to calm her down and take charge when AOI is being unreasonable. I’m just human.

The following morning as I was going downstairs for breakfast, with Mr T. in my arms, I imagined AOI coming to me and hugging and excitedly telling me about her morning activities. But as soon as she saw me she called out “T! Car {the nickname she gave to her brother}” she came to me and asked to kiss her little brother. That’s what she cared about, the previous night was a distance memory.

I shouldn’t worry so much or over do it but lift the feet just a little time to time

feet

keep enjoying these lovely scenes

baby T daddy

my sleeping kids

and take sweet elefante for lovely walks around the house or outside in the purple pram.

elefante goes for walks

8 comments:

  1. ahh the dark. I had night terrors as a child which really wasn't fun. Kaya co sleeps with us so she doesn't really have nightmares as I console her when she sleeps, but keeping the door open or having nightlight can help too.

    Your little ones are so very precious! Love all these shots!!

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  2. The picture of A&T sleeping together is oh so precious! I would frame it and hang it in my home.

    I am going through similar things with my son and his behavior/attitude. One moment he is the sweet lovable child that I know and then as soon as something doesn't go away it seems as though he is a different person. We too have been talking to him and giving him a name for his feelings and trying to teach him how to deal with them.

    Good luck with A being afraid of the dark! Hopefully it will pass or things will get easier.

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    Replies
    1. is good to know that my child is not the only one going through that stage

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  3. These are such beautiful pictures. You capture both kids so well. Love that you use the african print materials for wrapping your baby!

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  4. Always pray, it gives courage. :)

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  5. I love seeing pics of your family of 4. AOI is such a grown little girl and Mr. T just looks so precious enjoying his sleeping days.

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  6. oh my goodness she is getting so big...it feels like just yesterday that she was Mr. T's age. i think it's fun you are chronicling her terrible two's...it would be great for her to read it some day...my 17month throws himself on the floor too....eeks...he is starting terrible two's too early!!

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    Replies
    1. these days children reach stage too early

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