Dear sweet boy,
You, my tenero baby boy, lately I urgently smell your babyhood in, it’s slipping away too fast. Tender kisses shower your soft cheeks, little fingers and toes. I want everything to stay just like that, but they won’t. You’re still tiny but I can see the changed in you. When you wrap my thump with your fingers I can measure how fast your infanthood is slipping away from you. They’re getting chubby, not anymore fragile as they were three weeks ago. So, I hold you close to me to make sure you feel my love. I place my cheeks on your warm rosy cheeks, hoping you feel all my love. I love you so much and this same love wonders if I’m giving you enough love. Your lack of vocabulary makes me feel so clueless. I depend on your big brown eyes for answers. Every time I surprise you looking at me, you shift and we look eyes, such love.
You recognise your name, I look forward to the day you’ll reach another milestone, your real smile and not just sleep smile – though sometimes I can see a little smile. You’re getting fuller in your skin. When you lie down on your tummy you shuffle forward, and lift your neck, who does that at 3 weeks young of age?
I love you, I love you, I love you so much I want to shout it to moon and the universe around it. So happy you’re in our lives, amore! You’re my sky.
I’m going to be repetitive over the course of your infanthood because I don’t have better words to show you how much I love you, so I will just leave my words as simple as they are.
I remember Godspeed by Dixie Chicks, when you were in the belly you would turn and twist when the song filled the room while I was doing your sister’s bedtime routine. I would listen to each word and imagine you in my arms, doing bedtime routine with you and photographing you as superman on the couch
Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you
I dedicate it to you.
Today you turned 3 weeks. The midwife came to visit and you are 4kgs, you’re more than your birth weight, that makes me happy because it means I am producing enough milk for you. Though you look so tiny you are so strong.
I love the funny face you make when you cry or when you latch after I change you and all you really want is to eat. You cry when daddy and I change you, you don’t like the cold wet wipe on your tiny tush.
Sometimes after the night feed we both fall asleep and when I wake up in the morning I watch you sleep in disbelieve to have such awesome son like you. I try to capture your cuteness and serenity.
I’ve never stretched my dreams as far as to having such a beautiful daughter and awesome son in my life. And I know it is a cliche, but they are right when they say it impossible to describe the love a mother feels for her children. I believe that a mother’s heart multiplies according to the numbers of children she has. I LOVE YOU so much, just as much as I love your sister. No more, no less. Thank you and Heaves for choosing me as your mother.
I don’t know what you and your sister are going to think about these letters when you grow up and read them but I love writing them to you.
All my love, all my love, all my love,